#but considering the breathing problems and how bad they got really quickly. it may be my only choice if the appointments can't be soon.
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trying to hype myself up to make this phone call like "you can do this!! you've made dozens of phone calls!!! all you gotta do is get an appointment!!!" the anxiety is strong. but i must be stronger.
#i know the more i wait the further out the appointment will get#idek if it's worth hoping the appointment will be next month :')))#it probably won't even be until next year#at which point i may just have to go to urgent care and be like 'yeah chest pains :) I've got an appointment but it's a million years away'#'any advice on the meantime?'#which isn't. ideal.#but considering the breathing problems and how bad they got really quickly. it may be my only choice if the appointments can't be soon.#anyway#I'm gonna take the anxiety pills i have#maybe they'll help ;;;#it's close enough to when I'm gonna call that they probably won't kick in fast enough#but at least i won't be tired for the call either??#that's the only reason i haven't taken the pills yet#shh ac
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you were currently in your best friend bedroom, sitting cross legged on his bed while was laid down, looking up at you as you recalled about your day, explaining how you were invited to a party by a boy from your psych class.
“i don’t know if i wanna go, matt,” you told your best friend, sighing.
“why?” he asked with furrowed brows.
“because, i got invited by a boy, i feel like he may try to make a move on me.” you said, shaking you head in expatriation.
“so? that’s good, right?” matt questioned. you were approaching the end of senior year and you had yet to go to one party. you felt your lack of experience with anything really prevented you from being invited out places.
“that’s the problem, i don’t know.” you shook your head, repositioning yourself so you were lying down on your side facing matt. “what if he tries to flirt with me?”
“you flirt back.” matt laughed. you just sighed again.
“matt, stop, i’m serious! what if he goes to kiss me?”
matt stared back at you dumbfounded. “you kiss him back, obviously!”
you exhaled loudly, rolling your eyes as he missed the point yet again. you’d never even held hands with a boy before, let alone kiss one. and now you were being invited out by a boy, a cute one nonetheless, and your best friend was no help to you at all.
“do you want me to show you how to kiss?” matt half joked, partly hoping you would say yes. matt thought you were pretty, but he wouldn’t risk his friendship with you. right now though, he was considering it.
“matt,” you deadpanned, “you can’t show me how to kiss, it’ll be weird.”
“why?” the brunette boy pressed, leaning down towards you, “i know what i’m doing, you don’t. i’m here to help, that’s what friends do.”
you sighed, looking up at the boy. what if you were bad? or things became weird?
“hey, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. we can act like this never happened.” matt said seriously.
you inhaled, scanning his face. he was really cute when you looked at him. and besides, it was just matt. you nodded at him gently.
“i need to hear your words, pretty.” he told you, cupping your face with his hand, rubbing his thumb along your jaw.
“kiss me matt, please.” you whispered, your eyes fluttering closed. you felt his lips press against yours, soft but firm. you breathed in heavy through your nose, tilting your head in matt’s hand to deepen the kiss.
you broke apart momentarily, staring at each other, before crashing your lips back up against one another. for someone who’s never kissed before, you seemed to be the hang of it rather quickly, sucking at matt’s bottom lip, eliciting a soft whine from the boy.
“fuck” he breathed, shifting his body so he was now on top of you, holding onto your waist as your arms wrapped around his neck. you continued kissing, the only sound in the room being your wet lips smacking against one another’s. matt broke away, beginning to trail hot, open mouth kisses down your neck and across your collarbone. he would stop every now and then to suck and bite a dark purple mark into your neck.
your hands moved from his neck to the back of his head, pulling at his hair as you tugged him back upwards towards you lips. your mouths messily met, a clash of teeth and tongues as you both moaned into each others mouth.
you felt matt begin to grind his hips against yours, muttering a soft “do you feel that baby” as you felt the growing bulge in his sweatpants rut against your thigh. you whined back in response, nodding your head. he continued to buck his hips up into you as you guys kissed, you wrapping your legs around his waist and flipping, so now you were on top of the boy.
he pulled back slightly, lips red and swollen, looking at you with blown out pupils. if you told him thirty minutes ago he’d be in this position with his best friend, he would’ve laughed in your face. you ducked your head back down, kissing him once more. your mouth moved quickly against his, barely even catching his lips fully. you felt his tongue slip back into your mouth messily, feeling him bite at your bottom lip. you began to leave soft kisses down his neck as the boy whined, flipping you over again so you were in your original position.
he looked down at you, before bursting into laughter and flopping back down beside you. you laughed as well, turning to face matt. “how did i do?”
the laughing slowly subsided as matt looked at you intently, grabbing your jaw in a somewhat rough manner and brought your lips back against his. “i think you need more work.”
© mattscoquette
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“I WALK THE LINE” JAVIER GARCIA X TOUGH FEM!READER
SUMMARY : You are the leader of The New Frontier and you’ve won the heart of both brothers but you’re only interested in the baseball player.
ADDITIONAL : So that there is no confusion, this takes place after the events of killing Joan only that then you became leader. Also Clem never got kicked out and lives with you and AJ. Mariana never died. And there’s just things that are tweaked in the story but will make sense as you read.
WARNINGS : Cursing, suggestive content, talks about religion, and maybe more
There was something about you that made you so intriguing yet utterly horrifying to Javi. Maybe it was because you acted somewhat like his brother and were in a solider mindset. Or maybe it was the way you spoke about death like you weren’t afraid of it. Maybe it was because you were so beautiful yet so deadly. Or maybe it was just you period.
Javi had met you when he came into the New Frontier seeing as you were the leader and David was your second in command. His first impression? You were hard to impress. You didn’t care about anything really other than the mission at hand but Javi saw more through you.
You caught on to the fact that Kate had feelings for him and would relentlessly joke about it to Javi which irritated him to no end. He didn’t have feelings for her. He never did. Not for his brother’s wife.
He saw how history may soon repeat because even though you were not with David romantically, it was clear he wanted to be with you romantically. Though, he would never admit it. David took pride in his reputation and him falling for you didn’t look good considering he technically already had a wife.
Javi was after all, a man at the end of the day and could tell by just looking at the two of you. The longing looks David had for you. How he would at least try to control his temper around you. How you were the only one to keep him in check.
And Javi hated it.
He just couldn’t tell if you felt the same way back and until he did so, he would keep hitting on you. Even in front of his brother.
Javi played with the ring on his finger that belonged to his father while watching you. You were looking over some papers to see about your supply chain in the doctors office alone. Javi took it as his chance to stroll over to you.
He watched you look up from your papers and down. “What do you want twenty five?”
Twenty five was the nickname that was quickly given to him while you discovered of his baseball history. He didn’t mind it though. He thought it was cute. And he thought more that you liked him. At least a little.
“I can’t come in a check on you?” Javi asked fake offended.
“I don’t need you to do that. I already have David breathing down my neck.” Javi watched as you winced and held your stomach.
You gotten a pretty bad gash on your stomach from Badger and it wasn’t looking so good. Usually David was tough around everyone but the wound was so bad that he was starting to worry.
And if David of all people was worrying than it had to be that bad.
Javi took the papers out your hand and made you sit on top of the desk. “Hey, sit down.”
You sighed in annoyance. “Not you too.”
“Hey, if the big bad wolf is worried…then it’s gotta be bad.” Javi noticed your eye roll and chuckled.
You leaned back a little. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He’s been acting weird. I can’t put my finger on it.”
Of course, Javi knew exactly what was wrong. The problem was David wanted you but he didn’t want you. He wanted you in the best possible ways but he didn’t want the baggage that would come with that.
Lucky for Javi, he didn’t mind baggage. “David isn’t used to caring about something.” Javi put it into simple terms. “Just give him a second.”
“You’re too nice to him. Because the way he treats you…if I had a sister and she did me the way he did you…she wouldn’t be breathing.”
Javi laughed. “Well…Clementine’s kinda like your sister isn’t she?”
“Well yeah. But she doesn’t tell me how much of a failure I am every second.”
That was true. For Javi, it was hard dealing with David but he had gotten so used to it that it didn’t even affect him anymore. “It’s like wired in my brain. I know he loves me he just…has a funny way of showing it.”
“Yeah. You’re telling me.”
Javi noticed that you clutched your stomach in pain again. “Let me see.”
You gave him a look. “Is this your excuse of trying to see me shirtless.”
“I would’ve came up with something better if that’s the case.”
The statement made you laugh a little and you lifted your shirt for Javi to see the scar.
It was bad. A stab to the right and it would’ve been over for you. The stitches were nicely done. “Who did these?”
“Clementine…still don’t know how she knows how to do that.”
Javi nodded in agreement. “That’s one tough kid.” His hand gently went to caress the scar. He was so glad that badger was dead.
You watched as Javi’s expression went from worry to anger. A similar expression you had seen on David. You took Javi’s hand and held it. “I’m fine. Relax. It could’ve been worse.”
“Yeah. That’s the problem. It could’ve went worse.”
“Luckily you shot him in the head huh?”
“I wish I could do it twice.”
It was moments like these you saw the similarities to Javi and David and you couldn’t help but laugh because it was something you expected from David but not Javi.
You got off from the desk and Javi helped you off. You were about to fall but Javi quickly caught you and held you close. “Careful.” He told you. “That supply chain isn’t going anywhere.”
“You know if I don’t do it, David is definitely not doing it.”
Javi chuckled and helped you stand to your feet. “That’s one thing about him. All about the action. Hates the paperwork.”
“You know what else David is gonna hate?”
Javi looked at you curiously. “What?”
You covered your mouth as sort of a playful whisper. “You banging his wife.”
Again with the joke, Javi watched you laugh as he groaned out of annoyance. You walked out the room and Javi followed in pursuit. “How many times do I have to tell you, nothing is going on between me and her.”
“Well obviously she wants you.”
“I don’t want her.”
You playfully gasped in shock to him and stopped walking making him stop. “You don’t want thee Kate Garcia?” Javi rolled his eyes. “What will the world do if they didn’t have twenty five in their life?”
You went back to walking and Javi followed in pursuit. “Hey, I had a lot of women wanting twenty five in their life thank you very much.”
“Oh yeah? Were they all offered to hitch a ride to the psych ward afterwards?”
“Oh very funny.”
“I know. I’m a true comedian really.”
Javi had never seen you this way around anyone really. You were always so cold. So negative but with him you weren’t like that.
That made him believe you two had something.
Javi walked right in front of you to stop you in your tracks. “Busy tonight?”
“Actually, I was totally looking forward to my nail and hair appointment.” You said sarcastically. “Ooh! Or maybe go sight seeing with walkers!”
“Taking that as a no…” He trailed off before speaking again. “I need help with the count on food for next week.”
“Oh and you’re just so helpless that you need me?”
“Exactly.”
You rolled your eyes playfully before nodding. “Sure. I guess.”
You went to take another step but the sudden pain pinched at your gut and you clutched your stomach. Javi immediately held you by the waist and brought you closer. “You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
Javi knew you weren’t fond of touch but you never seemed to mind when he held you.
The two of you heard footsteps coming from down the hall. Javi was about to remove his hands from your waist but you placed your hands on top of his, keeping them firm in place.
The person stopped in their tracks and you two recognized it was David.
He gave the two of you a look of disgust before looking at his brother in anger. “What the hell is going on?”
“Nothing.” You stated calmly. “Just slight pain.”
David immediately walked over to you and grabbed the papers in your hand. He looked at them before getting annoyed. “I told you I would do this.”
“You’re not going to do it the correct way.” You told him.
“Yes I will.” He looked over at Javi. “What are you doing here?”
Javi, knowing the reason why David was being like this, rolled his eyes at him. “Just helping, (Y/N). Relax.”
“Don’t tell me to relax.” When David said that, you gave him a good hard smack on his chest.
“Shut up, you idiot. You’re so annoying sometimes.”
Javi watched as David took a deep breath in and out. He noticed his brother was trying to control his temper and it was working. Once again, he controlled his anger for you.
“Look, come on. I’ll help you.” He practically pushed Javi off of you and held onto your waist as you started walking away.
“You’re being ridiculous.” You grumbled.
“I’m not being ridiculous. You are.”
Javi sighed slightly watching him walk away with you but he wasn’t worried. Not even in the slightest.
When Javi turned around, he jumped back a little. He wasn’t expecting for Clementine to be there. “Ay’ dios mio, do you always sneak up behind people?”
“I wasn’t sneaking.” Clementine defended. “I was going to talk to (Y/N) but I see your brother already hauled her off somewhere.”
“Yeah.” Javi crossed his arms. “He hasn’t let her breathe ever since…”
Clementine nodded. “I think it’s because he’s mad.”
“Mad?” Javi questioned. “Why would he be mad?”
“Mad at you.”
“Me? What did I do?…This time?”
Clementine smiled slightly before shaking her head. “You saved her. I think David wanted to be the one that was there.”
It made sense in some way but Javi still couldn’t understand. You were safe now. Why did it matter? “But she’s alive? Shouldn’t that be all that matters?”
“Not if it’s you involved.” Clementine walked over to the window and Javi followed her. There, they watched as David sat you down in a chair. “I’m not blind. I know he likes her. And I know you like her too.”
Javi wasn’t going to deny it. Especially because Clementine was already a smart kid. “You think it’s not worth it?”
“I think if you love someone, anything is worth it.” She said. “But is it worth losing your brother?”
David already lost Kate because of Javi. Was it fair he’d lose you to? Because of him?
This wasn’t fair. He didn’t ask to have feelings for you. They were just there. And he definitely didn’t ask for Kate to have feelings for him which David didn’t even know that he was the real reason they weren’t together anymore.
But you were worth everything.
When the stars shined in the sky, Javi put on his jersey and opened the door to walk out of his room. What he didn’t expect was to see Kate standing right there. “Oh…hey, Kate.”
Ever since Kate confessed her feelings for Javi and he rejected her, Javi felt it was best to keep his distance. If she was any other woman than it wouldn’t have been a problem. But she wasn’t just any woman. She was his brother’s wife.
“I was going to knock…where are you going?”
He really didn’t feel like getting into an argument with her as you and Kate did not get along but he also wasn’t one to lie. “Going to count the food supply with (Y/N).”
Kate scoffed. “She can’t do it herself?”
Javi suppressed an eye roll. He stepped out the room making her take a step back and closed the door before walking. “You know it’s my job right?”
“That doesn’t mean she needs to be with you. God it’s like ever since she got hurt you and David…”
“Hey I’ve been letting her do her own thing. David is the one that’s not letting her breathe.”
“It’s like he likes her or something…”
Javi caught the attitude in her voice. He wasn’t fond of David liking you either. Well that was because of his own feelings but why did Kate have a problem with it. “Does it matter? You broke up with him.”
He watched as Kate’s head went down in shame and she sighed. “Yeah. Look how that turned out.”
That made Javi stop in his tracks. He turned around and faced Kate, also making her stop. “Listen, I’m sorry how things turned out and I don’t mean to sound harsh but you got to let it go.”
“Let it go? You’re telling me to let my feelings go?”
“Yes. It’s wrong and I don’t want to be any part of it when David finds out the real reason you broke it off with him.”
Kate grabbed Javi’s hands and brought them to her. “So you’re saying if David wasn’t your brother you would be with me?”
Javi shook his head and took his hands back from her. “No Kate. Brother or not, I don’t feel anything for you. I care about you but I don’t love you. I’m sorry.”
Before Kate could get out a response, Javi’s radio started to sound like static. And then he heard your voice over it. “Twenty five. You ready?”
Javi grabbed his radio and pressed the button to speak. “Yeah. Where you want me to meet you at?”
“Just meet me at the warehouse. Also I like roses.”
Javi smiled knowing you were half joking. “Copy that.” He placed the radio on his belt and when he looked up, he saw Kate had an angry expression. “What?”
“You’re in love with her? Are you serious?”
“Kate…” Javi sighed out. “I’m not having this discussion with you.”
When Kate looked into his eyes all she saw was someone that didn’t care about her. “Unbelievable…” She mumbled before turning around and walking away.
“It’s like I’m in high school all over again.” Javi said to himself.
It didn’t matter if you were half joking, Javi still picked you out the prettiest rose from the garden you all were growing.
You were in the warehouse already counting the food while sitting on the ground. You had the burden of being leader ever since they took down Joan and the others which meant the responsibility of everyone fell on you.
Javi could tell you were stressed but you were good at not showing it. That’s what he loved about you. About how big your heart was despite you trying to act otherwise.
He walked over towards you and held out the rose. “This wasn’t my ideal date.”
You looked up and were surprised that he had gotten you a rose. You took it before looking up at him. “What was then?”
“You know…” Javi sat in front of you and grabbed one of the clipboards. “Dinner and a night out. Not being inside counting our dinner.”
You chuckled a little before resuming your count. “You know I don’t really miss how the world used to be.”
Javi raised a brow at this. “Why? What could be worse than people trying to eat you?”
“At least they can’t control them being monsters. But us…we can control that.”
Javi got what you were hinting towards. “Yeah, that’s true.”
You hit your pen on your clipboard, deep in thought. “Do you believe in God, Javi?”
“Yes…but I can see why someone wouldn’t.”
You nodded at his opinion. “I never did. Everyone always told me that God was always watching me…then why did he watch me as my father beat me? Or when my mother lit her cigarette on me? Or when my Uncle John forced me to drink liquor? Or when my cousin Rob killed my cat? Why did he always just watch and never do anything?”
“It doesn’t matter if I’m in my old life or this life…either way…it sucks both ways. Mind as well take the one that sucks less.”
Javi wasn’t surprised to hear what happened in your life only because it explained why you were the tough woman you are now.
He knew what you felt about sympathy and he knew you despised grievance so he took another approach. “Maybe God wanted you to suffer.”
At that, you looked at him, extremely confused but laughing. “What?”
Javi laughed with you. “Yeah, maybe he picked you because he specifically hated you and wanted you to suffer the most.”
You laughed hysterically and hit him with your clipboard. “Shut up.”
“I’m serious. He’s probably looking down right now and thinking, ‘damn I probably didn’t do enough.”
“You’re so stupid.” You said with a laugh.
Getting you to smile was one of the best things Javi could accomplish. You smiled like you were the happiest person in the world.
“I wish David could be like this. He’s too serious.”
When you said that, Javi decided to rip the bandaid off. “That’s because he’s in love with you.”
When he had said that, you looked up to him completely shocked. “What? No he isn’t…”
Javi nodded to confirm. “Yeah, he is. Come on, (Y/N). You’re the only person besides his kids that he checks up on constantly. Always worrying. The overbearing protectiveness. I mean he obviously has some feelings for you.”
You never really thought about it but now that you were, it was strange the way David would act around you. So strange it could come off as he had feelings for you.
You groaned and rubbed your temples in annoyance. “Oh no…”
Javi laughed as he had not expected that reaction. “What? You don’t like my brother?”
“Please. David is not anywhere near my type.”
“So what is your type?”
You saw how eager Javi was to know which made you thump his head with your thumb. “Not you.”
Though you were lying. Although Javi maybe wasn’t your ideal type, you sure wouldn’t complain if you had rode into the sunset with him. He was smart, handsome, emotionally intelligent while also having a sense of humor.
Javi looked back to his clipboard. “How do you want me to do the rations this week.”
“I say we stop doing those. They already get 3 meals a day without labor. A lot of them aren’t seeing the use of even working. If they want any extra food, they have to work harder. We’re giving out food and wasting it when we really don’t have to.”
Javi nodded. “That makes sense…how do you think David will feel about it though?”
“Not great when he finds out the rules also apply to his kids.” You say. “Look I love Mariana and Gabe but they’re old enough not to get any special treatment. The only one that is getting any special treatment is AJ and that’s only because he’s still a toddler.”
“Hey, I got your back if he says anything.”
“He shouldn’t. It was his stupid idea for me to be leader anyway.”
Javi hated when you spoke badly about yourself. After all the hard things you had to do, you didn’t deserve that. He gently grabbed your hand which made you look at him. “It wasn’t stupid. You’re a great leader. You’re the only one willing to make the hard calls.”
You sighed a little. “That’s what I hate about this. Help me up.”
Javi stood up on his feet first. Then he helped you slowly get up. You were groaning in pain. “I can get a wheelchair from the hospital you know?”
You hit his shoulder lightly. “Stop talking stupid.”
You tried to walk but the minute you did, your legs gave out from the pain. Luckily Javi was fast and caught you before you fell. “You are so stubborn.” He said to you.
He handed you his clipboard. You looked at him confused but took it. He then picked you up bridal style.
“Javi!” You gasped out in shock.
“Which way?” Javi asked, ignoring your shout.
You shook your head before pointing. “To the left…by the way you’re aren’t cool for doing this.”
“I think I’m very cool.”
The next day, Javi made sure to prepare himself. He was going to confess his feelings for you. He honestly didn’t think it would go bad. Whether you accepted him or rejected him, he wasn’t like Kate or David. If all he could do was be your friend then he would be just that.
It was early in the morning. Breakfast time which meant the community was in the dining hall eating.
He knew that usually at this time you were in your office by yourself so he made his way towards the room.
The door was wide open and there he saw David. It appeared to be that the two of you were arguing.
“My kids need food, (Y/N) and are used to eating the rations. Making the rule apply to them won’t help anything.”
“I hate to break it to you David, but they are not kids anymore. Far from it. If the people figure out you and your family get special treatment then I’m the one that gets all the angry people in this group at me. Not you, me.”
“This is stupid!”
Javi decided to make himself known. He walked into the office while looking at his brother. “David, Mariana and Gabe are both capable of going without the rations. They gotta work for it like everyone else.“
David turned to his brother in pure anger. He shoved Javi in the chest. “Stay out of it.”
You pushed yourself in between the two and faced David. “You just don’t want him in it because he’s the only one on my side.”
“I don’t want him involved because last time I checked, I was your second in command - not him. What the hell do you care for anyway? He’s pretty much useless.”
Javi wasn’t fazed at all by David’s comment as he was used to his behavior. You didn’t like it. Not at all. Javi saw your expression turn sad. You took a couple steps back from David. “Then maybe you shouldn’t be second in command anymore should you?”
David’s eyes widened at this. “Wait no. Come on, (Y/N). You don’t mean that.”
“Everywhere I go, you’re breathing over my shoulder and you’re suffocating me. And then the way you treat your brother just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”
“I don’t treat him like anything! I-“
David went to grab your hands but you quickly pushed them away and continued your rant. “And then you’re always mad all the time. Mad at me.”
“I’m mad at you because I love you.”
Silence. Neither Javi nor you were expecting that. You didn’t even think David himself was expecting himself to say that. Javi was just thinking if he should just walk out the the room slowly and leave the two of your alone at this point.
“I don’t love you.”
Javi saw the expression on David’s face. It was hurt. A hurt he had never seen on his face. The type of hurt that was heart breaking. If David was capable of tears, Javi bet that David would be crying by now.
David held his head down as he walked out the office. You waited until he was completely gone before shutting the office door.
“That was…rough…” Javi said breaking the silence.
You sighed, rubbing your head. You felt a headache come in quick. “I can’t keep doing this with him. Walking on eggshells at every turn. I mean I know I’m not the best with emotions but at least I don’t spaze out on people every five minutes. It’s just…too much.”
It was pretty hard having a brother like David but Javi always made sure to not give into the hate and always have hope for him. “His brain isn’t wired how ours is. It’s like…you’re driving at 30 miles per hour. All the time. You’re safe and cautious of your surroundings. With him? He’s driving at 90. Full foot on the gas and not even bothering to hit the break…until he’s about to crash…and then it’s too late.”
You looked at Javi curiously. “Why do you do that? Your brother treats you like shit every single day and you defend him without blinking an eye.”
Javi walked over towards you before leaning on your desk right next to you. “Because…it’s just not worth it. Him being mad at me…me being mad at him…it’s a never ending cycle and I don’t want to partake in any of that.”
You nodded at him before sitting on top of your desk. “I don’t ever miss the old world exactly. I just missed what we could do in it��.like eat a pizza, or go laser tagging, or watch tv…or get married…”
When you mentioned the last part, Javi turned to look at you interested. “Married? You wanted that?”
“I know it sounds corny but…I wanted a marriage and a kid…I wanted to have a family because well…I didn’t quite get that during my childhood.”
It made Javi a little upset that all the things you wished for, you couldn’t have because of the apocalypse. But then again, he was sort of glad this all happened because he probably wouldn’t have met you.
Javi looked at the ring on his finger before taking it off. He stood directly in front of you, grabbing your left hand. “I always thought that the marriage thing was for my brother.” You watched as he carefully slid the ring on your ring finger. “But I guess when you really love someone, the idea to you isn’t so crazy.”
You caught on to his confession and you were surprised. Javi chuckled at your surprise but didn’t take it as rejection. “Oh come on, mi amor. You had to of known I at least liked you a little.”
He didn’t wait for your response. He leaned down and kissed you. When Javi kissed you, you felt safe. Like it was home.
You brought your hand to cup the back of his neck. He kissed you lovingly. Like he had loved you for a century.
His lips were like cotton candy. Soft and delicious. His hands were rough but felt so good going along your thigh.
Javi moaned in your mouth when you gripped his hair. He felt your other hand reach the belt of his pants and when he felt that you were about to undo it, he stopped.
He placed his hand over yours while resting his forehead on yours. “You still haven’t healed yet.” He said, reminding you of your wound on your stomach.
You giggled. “What? Are you trying to say that thing can hurt me?”
“Maybe…” Javi gave you a sweet kiss on the lips before sighing. “David is going to be so pissed at me.”
You made Javi look you in the eye. “Stop worrying about what he wants. Worry about what you want.”
Javi always put everything he’d ever wanted to the side because of his brother’s jealousy and insecurities. He was done doing that. He didn’t want to keep living the life of pleasing him.
He just wanted you.
“How do we tell him?”
You shrugged. “It’s not ours to tell. You don’t owe him anything, Javi.”
Javi felt you press your lips onto his and suddenly he was back to his safe home.
The only thing was that the blinds to the window was opened and someone saw the two of you.
It took a lot for David to be heartbroken. He was a strong man. Not just physically but emotionally. He barely felt sadness. Just anger but he was tired of feeling it.
He should’ve known you didn’t feel the same way. Why would you? He was the guy always mad at the world. Who would want to be with someone like that? It was the reason Kate left.
First his first wife, then Kate, and now you.
He couldn’t catch a break.
David couldn’t sleep as the guilt was surfacing. Everyone he did or has ever done just wasn’t washing away. Not this time.
He was sitting at the kitchen table, just staring off with his thoughts.
That was until there was a knock on the door.
David peaked up from his seat. It had to of been ten at night. Who would come to him at the ungodly hour? Maybe you?
He stood before walking over to the door. He opened it and there he saw Kate. Someone he hadn’t expected.
“Kate…are you okay? Why are you here so late?”
Kate looked the same. Heartbroken as well but he couldn’t really put a finger on why she was. She didn’t give him another word before pushing herself inside his house.
“Okay…” David closed the door to his house and looked back at Kate who had her back turned to him. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”
He heard her breathe in and out like she was trying not to cry. “I need to tell you the truth. The reason why I actually broke things off.”
“The truth?” David was confused. Was what she told him before not the truth? “Why are you just now telling me?”
“Because you need to know. You deserve it.”
There was something about her voice that made it seem like she was more so doing it for her and not him but regardless it was late at night and he couldn’t care less. “Kate it’s done and over with. Whatever it was…I don’t even care anymore.”
“It’s Javi.”
It was like she knew that would spark his attention. His eyes widened and he took steps towards her. “What do you mean by that?”
Kate sighed and turned to face him. “When me and him were on the road with the kids for so long…I really saw a different side to him. Not the same one obsessed with gambling and laying on your couch hoping for the next bag of money to roll in. I saw someone who was brave, and protective, and over all one of the best people I’ve ever met. I fell in love with him.”
David bit his lip. The same way he tried to control his temper with you, he was trying to control it now. “What? My brother? Are you serious Kate?!”
“I know…I know…it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t feel the same way. It’s just…I thought you should know.”
David cared but only a little. He wasn’t in love with Kate anymore. There wasn’t really anything for him to be mad at. “I can’t believe this..”
Kate looked into his eyes before stepping forward. “There’s something else…I know you care about, (Y/N).” Before David could get in a word, Kate held her hand up. “Let me finish. I know you do…but there’s something you should know so you don’t get caught off guard…I saw her and Javi kissing. I think they’re together now.”
David stood there, completely in shock. He would have never imagined it’d be you. That you’d fall for a guy like Javi. A guy that was his brother.
He couldn’t imagine Javi even having any feelings for you. He was just in shock.
Kate knew him too well and knew what was coming next. “I just thought you should know…” She opened the door to the house before leaving, closing it behind her.
It was at that point David grabbed a vase and smashed it into the wall.
There was no controlling his temper anymore. Not even you.
A/N : part 2???
#twdg#javier garcia#Javier Garcia X reader#twdg x reader#x reader#lee everett#clementine twdg#twdg fanfic
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Hello! Love your blog's aesthetic, I'm new to Tumblr so I'm not sure if this message is sent through? Hehe if you don't mind can I request ranpo x reader headcanon/scenario where reader occasionally distance themselves from him because the more they like him, the more they're in denial. reader kept insisting they strictly adore ranpo as a friend but ranpo knew that wasn't the case.
I want something sweeter~
Summery: Reader being in denial about crushing on Ranpo
Tags: Fluff, gn reader, slightly oblivious reader, not proofread, bad grammar ,might be oc, use of nicknames (sweets, sugar)
Format: Headcannons/ scenario
Notes: I hope this is okay,I'm not used to writing Ranpo. Title is from Sweeter by Jess Penner
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡🍰<3୧⋆ ˚。⋆
You loved being friends with Ranpo, after all who wouldn't?
He may have been difficult to understand at first but you quickly got along with his childish behaviour.
You would spend your time together eating snacks and playing video games when you could, always being amazed at his intelligence.
You found yourself feeling like a giddy child around him.
Heart racing when your fingers and any other body part brushed against each other, that was a normal feeling of course because of the sugar, duh!
He would know you liked him before you even did yourself
You who's mistaking your own innocent crush as just a really big affection for your friend.
I don't he'd bother with it till you figured it out yourself, after all you seem happy enough.
Unless he likes you too
He'd be more childish with you such as play fighting, sitting in your lap for no apparent reason or just holding your hand so neither of you get 'lost'.
He keeps his hand on you for much longer than needed, which he knows you unconsciously love.
Your hand always tingling after
You love when he's says he's feeling tired and dosent want to move at all even though he wants to eat his snacks, so what better is it than to feed him yourself he suggests.
You don't really protest, it's an excuse to be even closer to him
Bringing the sweets to his mouth that he has wide open, warm breath on your hand
You drop the jellybeans into his mouth and watch him eat
Your face unconsciously flushes
You wonder if he's lips would taste as sweet as what he eats-
Oh what was that thought just there?
Wow what a silly thought to be thinking about your really good friend like that
You ignore the thought at first but then even more similar one started appearing
The feeling of his soft hand in yours and wondering how they'd feel holding your face
You wouldn't dare go to a doctor because deep down you already know what's happening
The sight of his pout and lip jutting out, how you just want to kiss it off him-
Nonono those aren't supposed to be thoughts you should have about your friend!
But you can't help but feel those butterflies in your stomach
Suddenly growing nervous as he holds your hand
You 'mistake' these emotions as feeling sick
By "mistake" I mean trying to gaslight yourself into thinking that you are not in love with your best friend
It fails miserably as just the sight of him makes you heart beat 10x faster
You decide to stay home to get better from this 'illness'
You don't really get time to distance yourself because Ranpo will just confront you
He doesn't like letting unnecessary problems fester if he knows it's happening
Especially as something that he considers as small as a silly crush
He's very direct
It's been one week since you've started avoiding Ranpo, your hoping to recover from this 'illness' but your every single thought is about him and it makes you insides all warm and fuzzy, your face is always flushing and your palms feel sweaty, it must be a fever!
You'd be stupid to think he doesn't know that you've been ignoring him but what hopefully he doesn't know won't hurt him your lying to yourself . You know very well that he knows with that stare he gave you when you finally realised you liked him more than a friend.
Your face is flushing even at the memory when you realised your feelings weren't as platonic as you thought they were. You inwardly cringe when you remember you just ran out of his dorm while in the middle of a game, freaking out when he opened his eyes when you finally realised, and you finally knew he knew all along.
You cover yourself in your blanket as if to hide your embarrassment from the world. It's not that your ashamed to like Ranpo as more than a friend, it's just someone as cool as couldn't possibly return your feelings.
Your self pity is disturbed when you hear a knock at your door, standing up and heading to the door you didn't think much until you nearly slammed the door shut in suprise when you opened it.
Ranpo is standing there with a lollipop in his mouth and he leans over the door before you could close it, a cheshire cat grin on his face. "Heya sweets, what have you been up to?"
Your flustered and suprised and you couldn't do anything to hide it, you want to close the door but you can't, his arm is leaning on the door frame and you don't want to hurt him. His grin never falters as if he knows what your thinking, there's a light blush on his face.
"Ranpo what are you doing here?" You try to keep cool but your face is heating up as you watch the lollipop in his mouth. He leans forward teasingly, taking out the candy that was just in his mouth.
"You should know that sugar" You can't keep your embarrassment hidden as you blush at the nickname, how red could you get? "I mean, after all, why wouldn't I be here? You have a crush on me, meaning your someone someone who noticed my amazingness, and I love people who see that!"
"Wait, what—no, no, that's not—Are you actually—no, wait." He sighs as you attempt to convey that you don't have romantic feelings for him which definitely is not the case.
"Y/n. I like you too"
Your brain practically breaks at the words. You babble random things like "no that can't be- that isn't-"
He pouts, growing impatient with your failure of self sabotage and cuts you off by leaning in and kissing you on the mouth.Face instantly flushing,the contact only lasts a second but it feels like bliss. When the kiss breaks you unconsciously lick your lips, tasting the sticky strawberry flavour of the lollipop.
He exaggerates his reaction with a loud "haah! That was brilliant"
Your speechless and staring at him with your mouth agape, his eyes open and your face flushed, he has a smug expression from seeing your reaction.
"See! I am telling the truth! Now let's do that again"
I feel like I didn't do this justice and might rewrite it again 😞 (I lost my original draft so sorry if this seems lazy)
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New Friday page! And you know what time it is! We’re two for two on the bingo card, with Dainix’s flare up being confirmed to be caused by anxiety. Poor guy doesn’t like water… (I considered checking off “the ocean is scary” but eh. It hasn’t done anything scary… yet)
(I also changed the free space deco bc it was bugging me lol)
Reactions and speculation under the cut, like always!
Okay but those first two panels… Erin is angery lol (edit: on a closer look, it actually looks more like he realizes he fucked up. Still gonna need an apology from him before it counts though)
I was right about Kendal having interesting insight. It looks like Dainix’s thalassophobia really is bad enough to make his powers activate… poor guy is so scared of hurting everyone. His guilt is physically palpable off the page, and the sad puppy eyes… aaaaa
I guess this also disproves the theory that the volcano is making his powers worse somehow. I suppose in hindsight, this makes more sense, and thus Occam’s Razor is at play here -it really is just his powers activating through anxiety, as we know they do. I guess I didn’t think of that because I didn’t realize his thalassophobia was that bad.
Alinua realizing that he’s having a bad time because of her own trauma and walking him through breathing… oof ouch owie
On the bright side, the ponytail is still intact, which means things aren’t out of control yet, and Alinua may actually be able to solve this problem (at least for now).
All joking aside, I wonder if this is the part where Dainix talks about his phobia, or whatever trauma is attached to it. It is kind of weird to see him visibly anxious like this when I’m used to him being the emotional support.
Unrelated speculation a bit further ahead. I didn’t check off “the ocean is scary” because it hasn’t actually done anything scary besides trigger Dainix’s anxiety. But I do have a feeling that something scary will happen with it later that would justify poor guy ending up underwater somehow. A sea monster? I’m kind of anticipating a big fuck you sea serpent, or alternatively, maybe they’ll meet a deep sea horror if/when they finally end up undersea.
Or maybe those mermaids are the scary thing, since we still don’t know if they’re benevolent or hostile. Not gonna lie, even though it probably won’t happen because Alinua is helping Dainix calm down, it WOULD be kind of funny if the mermaids became an issue literally next page and thus got me closer to bingo. Maybe the page after is close enough… Falst is conveniently off by himself at the back of the ship, and thus in a position to notice if any unwelcome guests are following the boat. The sun is heavily obscured by the clouds, and thus there’s no sunlight to deter the mermaids from surfacing. I’m not really sure HOW the mermaids could be an issue though, as the boat is moving too quickly for them to keep up and siren type mermaids aren’t a thing as far as we’re aware. With what we know about mermaids, it still makes more sense for them to be benevolent chekov’s saviors, but it’s still not completely ruled out.
Anyway, back to the present, the next page is probably gonna be painful… looking forward to Monday.
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Gus Porter: An Appreciation and Analysis
I loved Gus when he seemed to be a fairly simple comic relief character, but very quickly he shows himself to be more than that. He may not get as much screen time as the main characters, but he does have two episodes where he is a main focus, and he reveals a lot of depth.
Gus has the common trope of a nonhuman obsessed with human culture and thinking of humans as interesting animals to study.
His obsession with humans is very intense: he founded a human appreciation society, he collects human artifacts, dreams of traveling to the human realm, and memorizes as much information about humans as possible (even though most of it is incorrect). If it wasn’t obvious, humans are clearly his special interest.
Gus is very poor at picking up on other people’s manipulations. In Through the Looking Glass Ruins, he is instantly trusting of Bria and fails to notice several warning signs that she has less than pure intentions.
He is also incredibly eager to be accepted into the group. The whole time, he is basically completely blinded by excitement at getting to hang out with “cool” kids. We learn more about where this stems from in the second Gus-centric episode (and one of my personal favorites), Labyrinth Runners.
In a flashback, Gus doesn’t notice a kid is exploiting him until he happens to overhear the kid admit it. He fully believes the kid genuinely wants to be his friend, just like he does later in his life with Bria.
Both times, he takes what people say at face value, the thought not crossing his mind that they could have ulterior motives.
One of his lines in Labyrinth Runners really struck me. “Everyone thinks I’m the smart one. So why do I act so dumb?”
Gus is what is considered a gifted kid; he’s two years younger than the rest of the Hexsquad because he skipped grades.
And the way he is portrayed in the show is very true to the typical gifted kid experience.
Gus is praised for being smart. He’s been bumped up grade levels, he’s considered a prodigy, he very clearly does amazing on tests. So like all gifted kids, he takes that on as part of his identity.
But someone can’t be smart at all things. And Gus is poor at reading other people. So despite being academically adept, he misses social cues, cues which are very obvious to everyone else.
He doesn’t notice when other kids are pretending to be his friend only to exploit him. That’s something that a lot of autistic people have a problem with.
And in Labyrinth Runners, he fails to recognize Willow, his best friend of many years, as an illusion, whereas Hunter does, despite only having met her once. She was definitely acting out of character, but in a way that would require an understanding of her mannerisms, something Gus doesn’t have a good instinctual grasp on.
His attempts at cheering people up aren’t always the best either. Though Luz did end up getting admitted to Hexside, he prepared for her to fail, and got consulting messages ready. This took the form of giant blue letters saying “Better luck next time.” Obviously, these words are very blunt and come across as quite cold. It is not something that would have made her feel better, but Gus clearly thought that it would, further showing that he doesn’t quite understand how best to comfort someone.
Same with Willow, where he sends her a bunch of illusions to console her and just ends up making the situation worse, unable to figure out the right ways to comfort someone in need, even though he has a huge heart and really wants to be there for his friends.
He’s the best at being there for Hunter. He teaches him the breathing technique, and gets him involved in the Cosmic Frontier fandom. Hunter is also bad at reading social cues and also is autistic I believe, though that’s a whole other discussion. But I don’t think it’s a coincidence that that’s who Gus is best at comforting, someone who is also rather unconventional with emotional issues.
Gus’s failure to see through people trying to manipulate him, and his failure at knowing how to comfort his friends, leads him to believe he is “dumb,” which greatly hurts his self esteem.
Notice, also, that Gus is always trying to entertain his friends. He’s funny, and he knows this and is actively trying to be. Why? Because if he isn’t smart, at least he is funny. He wants to be liked, wants to be seen as cool. And he’s just starting to enter the age where most gifted kids start to falter, where the lack of studying abilities really starts to catch up.
When I hit that stage, I definitely also tried to be “the funny one.” Autistic people are almost inherently funny to neurotypicals, and if people aren’t praising you and admiring you for being smart, at least they’ll like you if you’re funny.
If he’s not fulfilling his “value” as either the child prodigy or the comic relief, then what is his purpose? Such is the crisis many gifted kids go through when they go from being far ahead of their peers, praised as geniuses, to still being above average but certainly not the absolute one in a million wonder that many people told them they were.
Now for another amazing part of Gus - he has shut downs. When he gets overwhelmed, he hits a breaking point and curls up, completely unable to function any longer. Because his magic is so powerful, it impacts his surroundings too. In Labyrinth Runners, he is so overwhelmed he casts a spell over the entire school.
Shut downs and panic attacks feel like this. Of course, they don’t involve real magic like in the show, but the way the school appears as a trippy, foreign landscape they have to navigate is true to how it feels to be overwhelmed as an autistic person. Even though there is no illusion magic, the familiar quickly becomes foreign, and places I’ve been a hundred times before feel wrong.
Willow teaches him a breathing method, and I actually use that breathing method too. I don’t know if it inherently works or if it’s because it’s connected to The Owl House, which is my comfort show, but I actually move through panic attacks and disassociation episodes much faster ever since I started using that technique.
Finally, Gus stims! You can’t tell me that him grabbing the bubble wrap, knocking over items due to lack of spatial awareness, happily shouting “Look at all this human stuff!” and then intently focusing on popping all the bubbles until it was over was not the most autistic thing you’ve ever seen.
Gus is a great portrayal of an autistic gifted kid heading into burn out, academically intelligent but far too trusting, believing everyone acts at face value, and falling very easily into exploitation because of it. Adopting the identity of child prodigy and witty entertainer, and taking a serious blow to his self esteem when he can’t live up to those ideals.
Happily, he now he has real friends, most of whom are neurodivergent like him! As I said before, the almost instant understanding and bond he and Hunter have is largely a result of them both being autistic; they read each other very well and instinctually know how to help each other. I love their relationship so much.
This was a lot longer than I anticipated, but I just had a lot to say about him. He’s getting a lot more appreciation form the fandom recently, but he still is fairly underrated as a character. I love him so much even though I don’t talk about him as much as I talk about other characters, and I do wish he would get confirmed as autistic on screen (though the most I can ever hope for is Luz getting confined to have ADHD, and even that I really doubt). Still, I know he is autistic, and he is amazing.
#gus porter#the owl house#toh#gus toh#gus the owl house#autistic#actually autistic#the owl house gus#julietteanalyzes
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Top Games Played in 2023 - Number 4: Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
4. Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (SNES)
Despite playing quite a few different 2D Legend of Zelda games as a kid, I never stuck with one long enough to finish it. So I decided I should make Link to the Past the first one I finish.
So yes, I played this for the first time in 2023. Only 32 years late!
What I Like
After how disappointed I was by the dungeons in Breath of the Wild, I was so happy with the dungeons in this game. Every one of them was fun to navigate and had something unique going on. Puzzles are also much more decipherable for me in 2D, so I didn’t have to look things up. Going through dungeons has always been my favourite part of any Zelda game, so getting this right already made this one of my favourites in the series.
Most bosses are fun, even though they often don't require the dungeon item. There is at least one exception I’ll mention in the negatives section, but otherwise they were all fun and fairly fast encounters. The final boss in particular is very fun with how tight the time is to land hits. I played this on the SNES Classic, so I had save states from outside the boss rooms to help. I don’t know how bad it was to return from the closest continue point though, so the constant trial-and-error may not have been as fun originally.
The music is stellar, as expected of a first-party game on the SNES.
The world is fun to explore. I like that it’s small enough that you can get from point A to point B pretty quickly, but it’s so dense in terms of how far you can delve into each screen with the right approach. It’s very refreshing after BOTW was very wide but very empty.
What I Didn't Like
At the beginning of the game, the learning curve of moving around to dodge enemies was really high. Again this is my first 2D Zelda, so I was very bad at moving around with the D-Pad and maintain the right distance to attack enemies without getting hit. I did figure it out around the first dungeon, but it was a frustrating little while.
The shield is practically useless outside of some extremely specific situations.
In the late game, I easily ran out of things to spend Rupees on. Which isn’t a big problem, but it did make it disappointing when I puzzled my way to a treasure chest only to get Rupees I don’t need. And this is considering I found the upgrade fairy and considerably boosted my arrow and bomb capacity.
Some dungeon items are a letdown, like the armor. It’s also weird to get dungeon items that aren’t needed for bosses; 3D Zelda made me assume that’s the main thing they’re for.
Speaking of important items, I find it strange the Silver Arrows are required for the final boss but they're extremely missable! I nearly missed them myself.
Backtracking between World of Light and Dark feels much more complicated than any of the exploring beforehand, so it’s a big difficulty spike. It’s also where I pretty much gave up on getting secrets because there was too much to try with the world-switching.
I hate that stupid worm boss that pushes you off the platform and makes you start the file over. It's just frustrating. Arguably my least favourite Zelda boss ever.
Final Thoughts
I’m glad I finally got around to playing this. I understand why many people consider it the best Zelda game. It’s not my favourite, but I had a great time with it.
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The Spirit ask blog
So, I have made one of these before. However, it is old and I am unsatisfied with it. So I am rewriting it by myself without an annoying tiny pink ghost nagging me and talking over me.
With that said, let's try this again.
Introduction section - Get to know Spirit and her world
Hello, Tumblr. My name is Spirit Auraveil. I am a second year Ramshackle student at Night Raven College as of writing this. I don't really know what else I can say about myself. But I am a gorgon with albinism and I am very normal about the color red, as you can see from the text color I set it to. I go by she/her and I'm omni and poly.
I share a dorm with a couple other idiots. Apparently a cat possum thing is considered a student for whatever reason? But we have a Housewarden named Comet. She was the first one to be put in this dorm (along with the possum) and she nearly broke her back trying to renovate it from looking like a total dump. Ramshackle would not be the dorm it is today without her. And then there's people like Alice, Jude, Heaven, that one guy that Floyd and Jade hate for whatever reason, and whatever the fuck Andro has got going on.
We're a smaller population of students in comparison to the other 7 dorms. It's not that bad when you don't have a ghost breathing down your neck at 3AM while you're trying to make kraft Macaroni and Cheese. But we're who makes Ramshackle a home.
Except for Andro. He kinda just locks himself in his room all day. To a point where he's more of a cryptid than the actual cryptids that live here.
Anyway, what else do I put down? Oh, right. The rules. Cue the next section.
The rules - What is and isn't okay to say or do when interacting with Spirit
[Red = Spirit's text]
[Default = ooc/the creator's text]
Don't be rude unprompted. I am aware of how I come off. But that is no excuse to give me distasteful asks. I will not respond to those types of asks.
No nsfw. I may be over 18+, but I still don't look forward to publicly answering asks that are inherently sexual. That just feels weird and uncomfortable. So if you could avoid doing that, that'd be great.
Don't feel bad if I don't respond. I get burnt out pretty quickly. So I may not get to your ask right away. But I will try to get to it as soon as I can so long as it doesn't break any rules or boundaries.
Don't question my tags. I let my acquaintance, Alice, tag my posts because I usually just don't feel like doing it myself. If there's anything strange or goofy in there, chances are that is all Alice's doing.
No derogatory language! Swearing is okay, as this is an account for audiences that are teenagers and older. But we do not condone the usage of slurs of any kind. Nor do we condone any type of homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, or anything of the sort. If this rule offends you, then you're more of a snowflake than I am and I kindly ask you get off this page.
Don't spam. I am not online all the time and neither is Spirit. I may occasionally go into long hiatuses, mainly due to me forgetting that I have this account at all. But still, please don't spam. That is honestly just a hassle for me more than anything.
No god modding. As in do not attempt to control my character, force things that I did not agree on, try to majorly hurt or kill my character without consulting in me first, or anything of the sort. It ruins the fun when things are forced!
Other character and oc interactions are welcome! I am happy to roleplay and interact with other rp blogs and accounts. I aim to build some kind of storyline with this ask blog. And I appreciate when others add onto that!
Try to remember that this is all lighthearted. I deeply apologize if I come off as uninterested or cold. It's just how my neutral expression and voice is. And I mean you no ill will. Although I appreciate honesty in terms of confronting me when I make you upset. Gives me more room to try and fix the problem at hand.
Conclusion - final statement from Spirit
Anyway, that is just about it. I hope that we can get along nicely. Do take care of yourself.
I'll see you all in my next post. Later.
(Check out my other accounts: @aetherphobia @enigmacitrus-rp)
#twisted wonderland#twst oc#twst spirit#rp blog#ask spirit#Spirit rambles#Alice is cooler and funnier than Spirit#Welcome to this hellhole#you have lost the game <3
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Why being a "smart kid" SUCKS
Because being smart becomes your identity.
It cripples you because you don't develop like a normal person.
You use your intelligence to get by socially; that becomes really exhausting.
You never learn to work hard, or rather, you're afraid of working hard, because
"What if I fail? Then I'm stupid! And If I'm stupid then I'm nobody, I'm worthless!"
You're used to things being effortless. You're smarter, faster, have a better memory - so naturally you can't fail.
You're jealous of the kids who are allowed to, whom nobody bats an eye at when they make a mistake. But when you answer the question wrong, suddenly everyone is all up your ass.
What probably happens, is that you start isolating yourself.
"If I never put myself in situations where I may make mistakes, I'll be safe."
"I don't want to become aware that other people are smarter, better than me. Because then, what do I have left? I'll crumble!"
Eventually, you may become arrogant. Logic away your worries.
"The reason I'm socially inept isn't because of my social skills; it's because I'm just too smart! I'll never get along with normal people!"
Nah bro, the reason you're socially inept is because you shut yourself off and never got to practice. Because you never got those emotion-tied-skills but because you use your IQ to calculate and navigate social situations. While yeah, that may work, but it'll eventually lead to failure. You'll be inauthentic and burned the fuck out.
So, logically, your new goal should be to practice natural conversation. This means, talking without thinking. Sounds bizarre, I know, and it's not exactly correct, because of course you think during a conversation. What I mean is, being able to converse based on emotional responses and reactions, not only based on logical responses and reactions. Does this make sense to you?
So how do get there?
Throw away your identity.
What? No! That's scary!
Of course!! You're throwing your belief system out the window! But that system was polluting your house, it's bad for you, you won't ever be able to breathe freely without it gone!
Also, why even make your IQ your identity? Isn't an identity made up of what we achieved - or didn't achieve? How did you achieve intelligence!? It was given to you, you didn't work for it, you don't even have the right to be proud of it!
Your intelligence isn't you, it's an inherent part of you, like born flexibility.
What is you, is what you make of what you've been given.
So realize that in order to build an identity, you will have to make mistakes and that's totally fine. Take up hobbies you're not the best at, go to that class you don't wanna go to because it's humiliating, raise your hand in class, say stupid shit and let others say stupid shit and laugh about it, build the person you wanna be by not being afraid of failure.
And you know what the good thing about you is? Your intelligence!! I've kinda shat on that in this post, but you're legitimately gifted with a great tool. Why? Because you have the ability to learn quickly. And the more we know, the easier life gets.
To conclude:
Stop defining yourself by your intelligence. Recognize that your IQ is just another part of you that makes certain things easier!
I'm proud of you for even considering this, it's a really difficult thing to do. But it's do-able and 100 % worth it!
Cognitive empathy stems from logic, while emotional empathy stems from, well, emotion. Smart kids usually rely on cognitive empathy - that's a problem because social situations become tasks, and that's exhausting and annoying.
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The Fuzzy World of Blackout Drinking
It was an ordinary Friday night, the kind that breathes an air of liberating freedom that the week is finally over. You hit the local bar with your friends, the night is young, and there's an implicit pact that it's going to be a fun-filled one. You're in good spirits, drinks are pouring, laughter is echoing, and then… next thing you know, it's Saturday morning. You wake up in your own bed (thank goodness) with a throbbing headache and absolutely no memory of how you got home. You, my friend, just had a brush with 'blackout drinking.'
Blackout drinking is not exactly a subject to be taken lightly, despite its occurrence in so many 'funny' morning-after stories. To put it simply, it’s drinking to the point where your brain just sort of… checks out. It's like when your computer goes into sleep mode - the lights are on, but nobody's home. In this state, you're still capable of doing things (like getting yourself home, apparently), but come next morning, you're drawing a blank.
It's important to note that not all blackouts are created equal. There are actually two types of alcohol-induced blackouts: partial (also known as "brownouts") and complete. During a brownout, you may forget bits and pieces of your night. You might not remember that embarrassing dance-off you challenged your friend to, but the vague memory of the bar's neon lights may linger. Complete blackouts, however, are a whole different ball game. They're when your memory goes completely AWOL. You don't remember anything, nada. You might have carried out full conversations, danced like nobody's watching, or even paid your bar tab (fingers crossed), but your memory of these events is completely MIA.
The science behind blackout drinking is both fascinating and sobering. When you consume alcohol, it affects the hippocampus, the part of your brain responsible for forming new memories. Drink a lot quickly, and it can temporarily shut down the hippocampus's ability to do its job, leading to memory blackouts. Pretty cool, huh? Well, not really, especially when you consider the potential risks and consequences that come with it.
Now, I’m not here to be a buzzkill, but it’s crucial to understand the risks that blackout drinking can present. Aside from the obvious dangers, like bad decisions and accidents, repeated instances can signify an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Long-term, heavy consumption can lead to serious health problems, including an increased risk of developing an addiction or a variety of physical and mental health issues. Moreover, alcohol's effects can be unpredictable, and what's a blackout for one person might be way, way worse for another.
To delve deeper into the effects and risks associated with blackout drinking, you'd have to uncover the science behind it, the factors influencing its likelihood, and ways to prevent it. But remember, the best anecdote isn't the one that ends with, "I don't remember a thing," but the one that concludes, "And we had a blast, and we all got home safe."
At the end of the day, it's about drinking responsibly and knowing your limits. It's about understanding that alcohol, while a social lubricant for many, can, in excess, lead to consequences that are anything but fun. So the next time you're out celebrating the end of another work week, remember to pace yourself. Your brain, your body, and your dignity will thank you in the morning.
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Amelia really, really wishes that Silco would drop the subject of the stupid nicknames. She knows logically that he has a point, but it doesn’t feel like a big enough deal to her to be making such a fuss about. After all, she’s already apologized for the slip of the tongue, and that should be the end of it. More than that, though, are the not-so-subtle jabs he’s making at her professionalism as an officer. She’s been on the receiving end of those kinds of comments for her entire professional life, even more so since transferring to the local department, but they never get any easier to stomach.
Even though she has no problem admitting to herself that Silco has a point regarding Jack being upset about the nicknames she uses for him, the clear prodding he’s doing in addition to that feels completely unnecessary, speaking to a deeper disdain on his part. No matter how close he may be with Jack, Amelia is sure that he wouldn’t be poking at her like this if he didn’t have more issues with her on a personal level. If the problem he has is with her badge, she supposes that’s understandable, all things considered. Many people, including her once upon a time, hold a deep-seated distrust and resentment towards police, and she can’t hold that against anyone.
However, Amelia has always prided herself on being one of the good ones, a good apple in the bushel looking to root out the bad ones. After all the work she’s put into stopping the corruption around her, it’s a slap in the face to see that same plain distrust on anyone’s face. Silco doesn’t know her personally, and she’s certainly made a few missteps in this conversation, but she doesn’t feel she deserves this treatment.
Still, getting upset isn’t going to help anything. So, Amelia takes a small breath and nods, keeping her expression as carefully neutral and doing her best to keep her frustration from leaking in.
“That is a good point,” she acknowledges, “but even though Jack doesn’t like being called that, he knows I’ve never meant it as an insult.” She says the words confidently, as while she and Jack aren’t exactly friends, she’s confident in her ability to read the kid. Most of the time, at least. Even when he snapped and told her to stop calling him that particular nickname, she never got the sense that he took it as a personal insult against him.
Besides, he’s been called worse.
However, Amelia knows that Silco isn’t going to like that, so she doesn’t linger on that particular conversation and quickly moves on.
“The nicknames aren’t about a lack of professionalism,” she insists. “I-“ Amelia huffs, unable to keep herself from biting her lip momentarily before she plows on ahead. “Look, like I said, it’s my job to keep them all safe. I’ve been coming by the gas station for a few months now to check on them on a regular basis—we’re not friends, but we’re also not strangers.” If anything, she would argue the nicknames are a sign of a lack of familiarity on her part. They allow her to keep a distance between herself and the employees, never really allowing the closeness of using their actual names. To her, it doesn’t feel like a lack of respect, but rather an acknowledgment of the distance between them.
Once again, though, she realizes she’s being defensive, and she can’t quite bite back the frustration this time as she speaks. “But, that’s not the point. Point is, yes, I use nicknames when I talk about them. None of them have ever said anything about it before, but, fine, yes, you’re right that he told me not to. I’ll be more careful.” For a moment, her face flickers, almost regretful, before she returns to her previous expression.
The mention of Silco having previous experience with police, enough to know that this isn’t typical behavior with most officers, does catch her attention, and she files that away for later. Now is not the time.
The subject of Spencer Middleton is a sore one with her, and she’s sure that shows on her face as Silco quirks an eyebrow at her. She rests a hand on her hip and glances away, just for a moment, before looking back up at him.
There’s not much she can say to defend herself here, because she knows the amount of times she’s failed to catch the son of a bitch is unacceptable. Even if she’s not the only cop he’s managed to evade, he’s only human. Someone should have apprehended or killed him by now. However…
“It’s not that simple,” she bites out. “He has been caught before, multiple times even—the records of those arrests are public information. It’s just-“ She stops herself before she can say anything else, though she’s sure Silco isn’t going to let that point rest, especially now that it’s clear her own prodding has worked and only irritated him further. Spencer Middleton has been caught before, yes, but he always escapes, like clockwork. There isn’t a jail cell that can hold the fucker, it seems.
Amelia doesn’t want to linger on that subject, to give Silco time to interject, so she quickly moves on. “That’s not the point,” she says again. “None of that is the point. The point is, no, I can’t just accept Jack’s version of events for what happened that night. I know he’s not intentionally lying, sure, but he’s not exactly a reliable source. There was no shapeshifter and there was no demon. What happened to Mr. Berthelot was a tragedy and I wish Jack hadn’t had to see it happen, but it was the result of a madman with a gun, not anything supernatural.” She says the words with a finality that she hopes against hope will end the conversation there.
Silco wants people to know he and Jack are together. He is not interested in keeping his involvements secret. When somebody belongs to him, he wants other people to know about it so that they know to keep away. He knows that Jack is a private person, and the two of them don’t have a solid label on what they are yet, but they’re still together, and anyone who is decently close with Jack knows that by now. Silco comes by the gas station often enough that everyone has figured it out, and if they didn’t already know it, the fact that Silco was Jack’s first call as soon as the phones started working again should have been enough of a hint.
However, he is not offended that Amelia didn’t know. While he wants other people to know that Jack is off-limits romantically, the less a police officer knows about him, the better. He still has his drug business and impending sedition, and because of that, he doesn’t mind being something of a ‘dark horse’ as far as the police are concerned. It might even delight him to know that Amelia has not heard of Silco until recently because it would mean Jack isn’t friends with the woman.
“It doesn’t really matter how you mean it if it gets taken a certain way, does it?” Jack was unhappy with the name—anyone with eyes could have seen that. Silco doesn’t know everything, but he can imagine the way Jack bristled whenever Amelia called him Crutches before he finally got it in mind to say something about it. There are plenty of nonverbal cues people give off to let people know when they’re lying, and Amelia ought to know about them if she’s any good at her job, which Silco doubts more by the second.
“Isn’t it unprofessional, anyway, to assign people nicknames like that? Every officer I’ve dealt with has used people’s legal names, not some degrading nickname they arbitrarily assigned without consent from the receiving party.” Is it suspicious to say he has dealt with multiple police officers before? No, probably not—he comes from a rough area, so it stands to reason he would see police somewhat regularly, and he plans to use that as an excuse if she tries to call him on it.
Silco huffs, barely restraining the laugh that wants to slip out of him. It’s obvious Amelia is trying to backpedal and save face, make up for the mistake of telling him anything in the first place. Unfortunately for her, it’s too late to say she can’t get into all the details when she has already demonstrated enough of her professionalism—or lack thereof—for him to go on.
‘Hopalong’ is a new nickname—or at least, new to Silco, and because this is his first time hearing it, he can only assume it’s one she came up with right now. He is sure this is a test to see how he will react to hearing it, and she cannot hide behind the excuse of it being more natural to say, as she has not said it by accident before. Even her correcting herself back to Jack’s real name feels stilted and forced somehow, which takes all the credibility out of her claims about ‘Crutches.’ She knows his real name, which is perfectly natural for her to use—she does not want to and prefers blatantly disrespecting him.
“Yes, Jack has told me about Spencer Middleton,” Silco says, using both of their names with ease to make a point. He clasps his hands behind his back and quirks an eyebrow. “And you’re telling me that you have been assigned to gas station duty for as long as you have, and you have not found a single opportunity to apprehend him yet? He comes around fairly often, as you said. I find it unbelievable that he has gotten away from you every time.” He is tempted to say that he has already shot Spencer in the head and that shooting him and dumping his body in a prison cell before he revives should not be that difficult, but he holds back. Admitting to having shot someone will not help the suspicion she is already harboring for him.
#you and your friends here are all kinds of messed up {in character}#modestmuses#closer to canon verse: sharp left turn#//amelia: we've been having trouble catching spen-#//silco (has killed spencer before) skill issue.
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Baji Being A Menace To Society (And Your Relationship) 2.0
Sequel to: Baji A.K.A. The Worst (Best) Matchmaker
Summary: Baji’s at it again, acting out-of-pocket and creating chaos for absolutely no reason, other than to see you suffer. In his own Baji-esque way, of course.
Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader
Warning(s): Boku no Pico is mentioned, but there is absolutely nothing graphic; mentions of masturbation
Note(s): I am so sorry if it isn’t funny. Sadly, I am but an amateur writer, not a comedian. Still, I hope you all enjoy! ^^
"(Y/n), want some ice cream? My treat."
Usually, you'd be the first to jump at an offer for a sweet treat, especially when you don't have to pay. However, as of now, the word 'ice cream,' when said by Baji, instantly triggers your fight-or flight-response. Paired with the fact that he’s broke as hell, your suspicions only increase for the sudden indulgence.
Since you know you're no match for the long-haired menace, your body automatically prepares to flee, legs twitching to lurch into a sprint. Unfortunately for you, just before you can get the fuck out of there, your hand is being grabbed by Mikey, who leisurely begins to tug you along to claim your dessert.
“You like ice cream, right?” he turns to ask, eyes unbelievably soft when looking at you.
And because you’re weak for him, all you can do is nod stiffly, trading in your sanity for the pleased grin that spreads across his face, his confident strides thereafter likely a result of him successfully remembering another miscellaneous fact about you, as has been the case since you officially started dating him. From the most trivial of things, like which brand of pens and pencils you prefer, to the slightly more important stuff, like ice cream being one of your favorite desserts; he’s made the effort of remembering them all.
He really doesn’t need to do any of that, ‘cause you’ll love him either way, but the conscious decision to do so is what makes you love him even more.
Zoning back into reality, you shake your head to reorient yourself. It isn’t the time to be going over the reasons why you’re such a lovesick puppy.
No, there are other things to worry about, mainly Baji.
You squeeze Mikey’s hand as you’re led to the nearest ice cream parlor to try and calm yourself. It works for the most part, especially when you get a reassuring squeeze back.
‘Right,’ you tell yourself, ‘it’s going to be okay.’
After all, Baji wouldn’t do anything too drastic, right?
~~~
You were wrong. So, so wrong.
Despite nothing having transpired yet, every alarm in your head is going off, pounding at the door of reason to get you to wake up and realize that it’s Baji you’re talking about, the same person that sets cars on fire when hungry and punches the first unfortunate soul he passes by on the street when sleepy.
You really should’ve listened to your survival instincts and ran. Alas, it’s much too late to escape, leaving you to wallow in your anxiety, while you wait for misfortune to strike.
And strike it does.
“Please, don’t sit next to me. You make me nauseous.”
“That’s cruel. I bought you ice cream, and you treat me like this?”
Yeah, he may have bought it, but you refuse to eat it because of how intensely Baji is staring at you. Fucking weirdo.
"Oh, do you want some of mine instead, (Y/n)?" Baji accentuates his question with a sensual lick to his ice cream from the edge of the cone to the finessed peak, making you extremely uncomfortable as he stares you down with the full motion.
As slowly as he licks his frozen treat do you slowly raise your middle finger, eliciting chuckles from the other occupants of the table.
You think you won that mini battle, though?
Ha! Nope.
Baji mirrors the vulgar action, not once breaking eye contact as he dips the tip of his finger directly into his ice cream, pulls it out, and proceeds to lick that, too.
Disgusted, you promptly avert your attention elsewhere, praying that Baji won’t continue being, well, himself.
Your prayers fall on deaf ears.
"It's cold!" As soon as the exclamation leaves your mouth, your blood runs glacial, knowing that you've unintentionally played into Baji's trap. The appearance of a sly, almost feral, smirk when you whip your head around to glare confirms what you already know.
The curtain has risen, and you’re standing center stage in a performance you can’t break free from.
"Aw, can't let it go to waste,” Baji continues, reaching over to scoop the ice cream you’re 100% certain he purposely spilled on the front of your shirt, with his fingers.
Then, to your horror and everyone else’s shock, he asks, without an ounce of virtue to his name, "Want me to lick it off with my mouth?"
Chifuyu is seated on the other side of the table, hiding his face in his hands. “Baji-san...”
"It'll stain if it dries like that." Dear God, how you wish to un-see Baji batting his eyelashes at you.
“I don’t care!” At this point, you’ve resorted to clumsily scooting your chair as far away from him as possible, which isn’t actually as far as you’d like considering your surroundings. Hell, so long as you put some distance between yourself and the crazy bastard that wants to see you suffer, you don’t mind having to force yourself halfway onto Mikey’s lap. (The firm hand that keeps you steady by the waist proves that your presence isn’t unwanted either.)
"Geez, (Y/n), you're such a scatterbrain."
Seeing Baji sell the line with a slow tugging of his hair behind the ear has you torn between laughing and dying a little more. Truthfully, his acting is frighteningly impressive, and you would’ve applauded his performance, if not for the fact that the role he’s playing still haunts your dreams.
By this time, most of who accompanied you to the ice cream parlor have figured out what kind of drugs Baji is on this time, which also means that those fuckers have seen, or are at least aware of, the cursed trilogy of questionable porn that’s being reenacted before their eyes, with you as an unwilling co-star. Those that are puzzled as to why people are shoving their fists in their mouths to refrain from laughing are obviously God’s favorites.
“The fuck is going on? I wanna laugh at Baji’s dumbassery, too.”
“Pah-chin... I think it’s best you don’t know.”
Interestingly enough, the one you’re most concerned about hasn’t said anything yet, splitting his attention between observing the scene unfolding and eating his portion of a deluxe sundae.
Then, out of nowhere-
“I understand.”
You and Baji freeze where you are, each of you grasping the other’s collar, you to shove him away, and him to draw you closer.
“(Y/n),” Mikey says, your name rolling silkily off his tongue in a tone much too fond for his next words, “if you like roleplay, just tell me.”
...
“Huh?”
“I’m fine with pissing, remember? So, roleplay shouldn’t be a problem.”
Heat rises to your face at an alarming pace, and it continues to climb as Mikey takes your free hand in his, which serves not to comfort but to unintentionally remind you of the humiliating experience from a few months back. And just when you convinced him that you didn’t want anything to do with getting freaky with the body’s excreta, too.
“You’ve got it wrong! I don’t- arfghfgh?!”
Your prayer to help cool down your flushed cheeks must have been heard, but you’re pretty damn sure you didn’t ask for Baji to shove his ice cream in your mouth!
“Oh, yeah. (Y/n)’s a fuckin’ geek when it comes to roleplay,” the unhinged bastard speaks in your stead, indifferent to the nails clawing at his hand clamped over your mouth. “You should try it with him. We were doing a scene from his favorite anime.”
Mikey tilts his head, interest positively piqued. “Which one is that?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, leader?”
Mikey raises an eyebrow.
Baji opens his mouth.
You lunge.
It’s a series of events that happens in the blink of an eye and ends with loud crashing as you tackle Baji to the ground.
“Listen up, Baji Keisuke. We took an oath that day, and if you dare utter a word of what went down, I’ll consider that a breach of the code of secrecy and take you down, making sure you drown in a pit of your own shame and despair.”
Surprised to have been pinned down so quickly, it takes a while for Baji’s brain to catch up, but when it does, he’s frustratingly unfazed at the threat.
“Oho~ How scary. Too bad for you, I have no shame.”
“Not even if I tell Mama Baji where your porn stash is?”
That has the great Baji tensing up.
“You wouldn’t dare use an underhanded tactic like that.”
Your lips turn into a wicked grin. “Are you sure? I have as much dirt on you as you have on me, and like you, I won’t hesitate to use it to my advantage.”
If your grin is wicked, Baji’s is downright evil, showing off his sharp, gritted canines and all.
“You got balls, (Y/n),” he snarls, “but mine are bigger.”
The boy beneath you opens his mouth, and faster than you can stop him, he just...does it.
“(Y/n) (L/n) watched Boku no Pico and liked it!”
Silence.
Silence is all that’s heard for a good, long minute following the booming roar of the revelation.
You dare not look up to gauge everyone’s reactions, instead keeping your icy glare fixated on Baji, who looks smug as shit for having caused the glorious eruption of heat to spread like wildfire across your entire body, from the tips of your ears down to where your skin disappears under the collar of your jacket.
This...
This is war.
Taking in a deep breath, you answer his uncalled for declaration with your own thunderous shout of, “Baji watched Boku no Pico and jacked off to it! Twice!”
Baji laughs. “Oh, pray tell, saintly (Y/n), how many times did you jack off to it?”
“None of your fucking business, asshole.”
“Pretty fucking sure it is, since we were in the same room.”
Someone chokes, while you choke Baji.
“We. Swore. To. Secrecy. You. Asshole,” you practically growl, with each of your words accompanied by a ruthless back-and-forth shaking of the other boy’s person.
“Let up on the choking, dude. I’m not into that. You, however-”
Unable to take the ceaseless slander to your name anymore, you reel your fist back, but, upon seeing Baji’s cheek turned to you, jaw jutted out, as if inviting you to take your best shot, you hesitate. You know you wouldn’t be able to pack enough of a punch to actually leave an impact on him, which is terribly upsetting.
On the bright side, there’s still one tactic you can use that’ll be just as effective, a technique courtesy of your health teacher, who happily taught it to the class to use in case of an emergency.
Technically, it’s meant to be used to assess a person’s level of consciousness, but you suppose it can be used to get back at inconsiderate idiots, too.
“Ow! Ow! What the fuc-! Ow!”
You keep a straight face as you continue to rub your knuckles against his sternum, fully intent on delivering the worst possible pain to the current bane of your existence. It brings a sort of sadistic satisfaction to hear the ever prideful Baji’s screams of pain, and while it doesn’t completely undo the damage done, it does help soothe your wounded self-esteem.
“You want me stop? Beg for it.”
“Pissing, roleplay, choking, and begging? Goddam- OW!”
Your reign of terror comes to its untimely end when you’re lifted up into the air by the armpits, and through the haze of your power trip, you realize that Baji’s saving grace is Draken, who proceeds to carry you out of the parlor with ease.
“People are staring,” he coolly explains when you protest to having unfinished business.
Pouting, you cross your arms over your chest. “It’s his fault.”
Once outside, Draken doesn’t immediately put you back on your feet, until Mikey strolls out of the parlor. Only when the gang leader has his arms outstretched to you are you promptly deposited on the ground and taken into his embrace.
“Are you done letting off some steam?” is the first thing he asks you. Even though you can’t see his expression, the way he holds you and the way he cradles the back of your head, handling you with the utmost care, is indication enough that there will be no reprimand for, essentially, assaulting your division commander. (You would argue that it was an act of self defense against verbal harassment, but whatever.)
There’s just an overwhelming amount of love. So, so, so much love for each other.
“Yeah, I am,” you eventually answer, followed by a content sigh.
“Good.”
Naturally, that’s the perfect time for the tinkling of the bells above the parlor door to pilfer your attention. Baji’s appearance causes your face to morph into a scowl.
You cling tighter to Mikey, peeking over his shoulder to flip the ravenet off and mouth, ‘Go to Hell.’
As always, Baji answers your attempt to appear opposing with an obnoxious smirk.
‘See you there.’
~~~
“Boku no Pico, huh?”
“Draken, don’t laugh! Baji forced me to watch it!”
“All 3 episodes?”
“Twice.”
“...”
“...”
“Favorite scene...?”
“As if I’d have one.”
"Actually-"
“Ahh! Shut up! Why are you here, stupid Baji?! You live in the other direction!”
~~~
“Hey, (Y/n). Want to try doing the same thing with me?”
You look up, perplexed. Mikey literally just walked into the room, and that was the first thing he said to you.
“Do wha-?”
Your breath catches in your throat when you turn your head, only for you to come centimeters from bumping noses with him. And because he can, he lovingly knocks your foreheads together, too.
“It’s okay. I promise it’ll definitely be fun.”
You should feel ashamed for recognizing the same sequence of lines from Boku no Pico so quickly, though any coherent words are overtaken by an incomprehensible, high-pitched screech, a feat achieved solely by a teenage boy going through puberty.
A combination of shock and amusement crosses over Mikey’s features then. He’s never heard you make that sound before.
It’s cute. Strains the ears quite a bit, but cute.
While Draken lurks beside him, questioning Mikey’s standards of what constitutes as ‘cute,’ you’re sprinting across the room, red-faced, to Baji, who’s already grinning from ear-to-ear.
“Stop tainting my boyfriend, you piece of shit! Give him back his innocence!”
(Unbeknownst to you, whilst immersed in your fit of hysterics, your use of the word ‘boyfriend’ has a certain blond beaming.
“Did you hear that, Ken-chin? He called me his boyfriend.”
“Wow, congrats.”
Mikey either doesn’t give a shit or is simply too smitten to acknowledge Draken’s apathetic response.)
Baji blinks, unable to believe what you’re trying to insinuate. “Innocent? That little gremlin motherfucker?”
Both of you look in Mikey’s direction. When he sees you staring, he breaks out in a smile and throws a wave.
Your heart involuntarily skips a beat at the sight, and, okay, you’re convinced. Mikey deserves better than knowing of that cursed series’ existence.
Clearly, you’re down bad for Toman’s leader, and as such, Baji figures he can use that to quench his boredom for the day.
“Ooh, if only you knew what he gets off to.”
The tone in his voice instantly rouses suspicion. You narrow your eyes at him. “I don’t care what kind of porn he gets off to.”
“Porn? Nah, ya silly goose-”
“Don’t call me that.”
Baji ignores your comment as he moves to sling one arm around your shoulders, the other raising up to mimic an obscene tugging motion that no teenage boy is a stranger to.
“He jerks it to yo-”
BAM!
One second, Baji is lazily hanging off of your person, the next, he’s sprawled out on the floor, face down, and groaning in pain. You expect nothing less after witnessing him receive a rather impressive flying kick to the chest from Mikey.
Before you can assess the full damage, your view gets obscured by a pair of keys.
“Wanna take my bike out for a spin?”
Yes, you know Mikey is trying to divert your attention from whatever Baji was going to say, and, yes, you probably should check on the figure that has yet to get up.
But do you really care?
You take one glance at Baji’s concerningly unmoving body and quickly come to a conclusion.
You do not.
That being said, you quite literally drag Mikey and, by extension, Draken out of there, chanting an excited, “Let’s go!” on your way, abandoning Baji to wither on the ground.
Baji?
Baji feels betrayed.
~~~
"Chifuyu?”
“Hm?”
“Y’know, I was joking.” Baji flips onto his back with a grunt. “Man, who knew Mikey was all grown up?”
The vice captain of the first division hums, seemingly uninterested in his commander’s musings.
It goes quiet for a few minutes, the sole instigator of noise being Chifuyu flipping the pages of his manga.
Unpredictable is Baji, and the same goes for his train of thought.
“I should punch Mikey for kicking me.”
“No, you’d get beat up.”
“...”
“I should punch (Y/n) for Mikey kicking me.”
Truly, unpredictable and senseless.
“You’d still get beat up.”
Baji opens his mouth to argue.
“By Mikey.”
He promptly closes it.
“Fuck it. I’ll keep spicing up their relationship as payback.”
Sighing, Chifuyu closes his book to crouch down next to him. “Baji-san, with all due respect, you’re an asshole.”
Baji Keisuke has experienced betrayal twice today.
And he deserved it both times.
#mikey x male reader#sano manjiro x male reader#sano manjirou x male reader#mikey x reader#tokyo revengers x y/n#tokyo revengers x male reader#tokyo revengers x reader#Tokyo Revengers#Sano Manjirou#sano manjiro#manjiro sano#manjirou sano#i tried#im so sorry#pls dont cancel me#PSA: don't masturbate in the same room as baji
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Prove Them Wrong [2/?]
Fandom: Divergent Pairing: Eric Coulter x Fem! Reader Summary: Y/N is a Dauntless transfer from Erudite, and she has a drive, an ambition that sets her apart--it always has, even back in Erudite. She brings her perseverance (and need to prove others wrong) to Dauntless when she transfers, and she uses her mind to make her way through the initiation process. Along the way, she makes friends and enemies, and she finds herself comfortable around the man most people in Dauntless avoid at all costs: Eric Coulter. A/N: it seems this may be a little bit of a slow burn, based on the pacing and where I am in chapter three right now... Enjoy!
You woke up to the sound of metal clanging together, an unpleasant alarm if you’d ever heard one. “Get up, get dressed, and be in the training room in two minutes,” Four said, banging the metal together one last time before leaving the room.
Everyone scrambled to get dressed in their new black Dauntless clothes, and as people entered the training area, they began to form a semicircle around Four and Eric. “Ok, let’s get started,” Four said, clapping his hands together. “There are two stages of training. The first is physical, you will push your bodies to the breaking point and you will master the methods of combat. The second is mental, again breaking point. You’ll face your worst fears and conquer them--unless they get you first. You’ll be trained separately from the Dauntless-born, but you’ll be ranked together. After initiations, rankings will determine what jobs you move into: leadership, guarding the fence, or keeping the factionless from killing each other.”
“The rankings will also determine who gets cut,” Eric cut in, rising from where he sat on a concrete slab. An uneasy whisper spread throughout the initiates. No one knew about this, and you had to admit, you were getting a bit nervous yourself. “At the end of each stage of training, the lowest-ranking initiates will be leaving us,” Eric continued.
“To do what?” asked Al.
“Well, you can’t go home to your families, so you’ll be factionless.”
Another wave of murmurs rippled through the crowd of initiates, but it was quickly silenced by Eric’s glare. “Someone should have told us,” Christina said.
“Why? Would you have chosen differently? Out of fear?” Eric replied challengingly. “I mean, if that’s the case, you might as well get out now. If you’re really one of us, it won’t matter to you that you might fail, alright? You chose us. Now, we get to choose you.” Eric looked at each initiate, his blue eyes challenging each person to look away. Some people did, others didn’t. You didn’t.
Instead, you held his intense gaze as the itch to prove others wrong that had been inside you since the day you were born rose up, ready to be set free. What Eric said was scary, but it didn’t matter--all your years of studying the faction system told you that they would try to scare the initiates, and while you hadn’t expected this, you had known it wouldn’t be easy. But you had worked your ass off for years to be top of the class in Erudite, and you’d be damned if you weren’t going to do the same here, in your new faction.
--
“Everyone, get some water before we move into the next segment of training,” Four called out. It took everything in you not to bend over as some others were doing; you knew standing up straight, getting fresh air in your lungs, would make the cramp in your abdomen go away faster, even if it hurt more now.
“Tris, stand up straight,” you whispered to your friend, who was red-faced after running twenty laps around the room, which was everyone’s warm-up for the day.
“Just so you know, tomorrow we won’t just be running laps,” Four said, surveying all the tired initiates. “So get used to this.”
You sighed, mentally thanking yourself for joining a small workout group in Erudite. It was fairly new, and it was only created because studies showed that after some physical activity, the brain was better equipped to come back to problems it struggled with earlier and continue working whereas remaining stagnant was more likely to result in burnout and fatigue. The workouts were nothing like this, but you were still appreciative of them.
“Alright, everyone find a punching bag and start hitting. Eric and I will be walking around correcting your form, but it’s on you to put our advice into practice. Go,” Four announced after barely even a minute of the “break” had gone by.
Turning on your heel, you walked over to the nearest punching bag and lined yourself up. Feet spread evenly about as wide as your shoulders, then step the left foot forward just a bit. Knees bent slightly, fists raised high. Then, you get to punching.
After what felt like an hour of hearing Four quietly critiquing other students between Eric’s shouts of disappointment at other initiates, the two trainers finally got to your area of the training room. Out of the corner of your eye you caught Four walking up to Tris, slightly adjusting her position and giving helpful tips. Another set of footsteps came to a stop behind you, which meant Eric would be the one helping you. Your shoulders tensed for a moment, but you quickly forced yourself into a more relaxed position and continued punching. Just pretend he isn’t there, you told yourself. After hitting the punching bag six times, called out “Stop” from behind you. He walked over to your side and took a fighting stance. “Make sure your hips are square, like this, so when you throw a punch with the hand that is further back, you can twist your hips and use core strength to put more power into it,” he said stoically, and you did your best to mimic his stance. “No, like this,” he said, grabbing your hips and twisting them, holding you firmly in place for a second before letting go. “Try it now,” he said. You started throwing punches again, and he nodded before silently walking away. When you paused to readjust your stance, you heard Eric yell “Did I say you could stop, Y/N? No, I did not; keep going!” You took a deep breath and began the next onslaught of punches as the room fell quiet save for the sound of fists hitting punching bags, a rhythmic thumping sound.
“First jumper!” Eric called out, disrupting the steady beat and sense of calmness in the room. “In the ring.” Beside him, Four sighed and looked down at his feet, and you had a bad feeling about whatever was about to happen. “Last jumper,” he continued, looking at a girl with dark hair--you think you may have heard her friends call her Molly, but you aren’t entirely sure. “Time to fight.”
Tris and the girl stepped up to the ring. “How long do we fight for?” the girl asked.
“Until one of you can’t continue,” Eric said in response.
“Or one of you concedes,” Four interjected, stepping forward.
“According to the old rules,” Eric corrected. “With the new rules, no one concedes.”
“You really want to lose someone in their first fight?”
“Well, a brave man never surrenders.”
“Lucky for you, those weren’t the rules when we fought.”
Eric clenched his jaw, irritated, before saying “You’ll be scored on this, so fight hard.” Tris and the other girl squared up and began to circle each other, but Eric was getting impatient. “Go!” he barked.
After nearly falling off the mat, Tris lunged, but the other girl dodged, twisted, and retaliated with a swing of her own, landing a punch to Tris’ face. As Tris retreated, the other girl pressed her advantage, catching Tris’ waist, bending her over, and punching her stomach a few times before Tris managed to break free of her hold. Just as she reached the end of the mat and turned, Tris was met with another punch to the face, sending her to the floor. The other girl--Molly--glanced at Eric since Tris was down, and he nodded, signaling Molly to send one last blow Tris’ way, knocking her out. As you watched the fight, you felt bad for your friend; she was much smaller than Molly, and part of you wanted to speak up about the cruelty that the trainers were showing, but you shoved it down. There was no need to compromise your position right now.
“Next,” Eric yelled, pointing to a girl named Selene and a former Candor named Peter who had made fun of Tris, calling her a Stiff several times. You secretly hoped Selene would kick his ass, but it was unlikely, he was tall and strong, plus he was willing to fight dirty--he’d admitted as much in the dorm area. Guess he still couldn’t keep his mouth shut, even though he’d left Candor.
Selene was tough; what she lacked in strength she made up for in endurance, but after a few rounds of dodging Peter’s punches, he finally landed one to her solar plexus, stunning her, allowing him to sweep her legs out from underneath her and kick her as she lay on the ground. You clenched your jaw as he did so, feeling anger rise up inside of you. Selene was unable to fight, that was the stopping point of the fights, but Peter was still kicking her. And Eric, the emotionless person that he was, didn’t do anything.
“Peter,” you said, “stop it.” Peter turned towards you and smirked.
“What are you going to do if I don’t?” he taunted. You considered for a second before turning to Eric.
Looking up at him, you steeled yourself. “I know we don’t get to determine the fighting order, or who we fight, but I would like to fight Peter. Now,” you said, sure to keep your voice level and maintain eye contact with the leader.
He raised an eyebrow at you curiously, and thankfully, Peter had stopped kicking Selene when you started speaking to Eric. Selene scooted to the edge of the mat, but that was as far as she could move without assistance. “You two,” Eric yelled at two initiates, “help Four get this one,” he pointed at Selene, “to the infirmary.” Then he turned back to you. “What are you waiting for, initiate? Get up there.” For a moment you were stunned, you didn’t actually think you would end up fighting Peter, and you knew that both Eric and Peter were expecting you to lose quickly. You caught Four’s eye as he carried Selene out with the help of two initiates, and you looked around to see Christina, Tris, Will, Al, Edward, Molly, and a few other initiates staring at you like you were mad. Maybe you were, but it was too late to back out now. You stood in a low, sturdy fighting stance, just like Eric had shown you. Peter did the same. For a moment, the room was dead silent as your eyes locked with his, and then both of you whipped into action.
Peter went right for the face punch, but you quickly blocked upward and threw a low roundhouse kick at his knee, making him wobble. He recovered quickly, and he quickly used his height to his advantage, moving to grab your shoulder and slam you into the ground. You were smart though, and you let him move you slightly before turning the downwards motion into momentum that allowed you to do a somersault, twisting his arm and landing on your feet. As he was turning around to face you, you sent a snap kick right to the back of his knee, making it buckle. You moved quickly to his other side, ready to send a few punches to his face and knock him out, but he sprung forward, wrapping strong hands around your neck and squeezing. For a moment you panicked, hitting his arms, but they didn’t move. Everyone was sure that was it for you, but you had another trick up your sleeve--Peter was overly confident this would weaken you and in the process of squeezing, he had left his own body defenseless. So you kicked him in the groin. Hard. He called out and released you, and as he leaned over in an instinctual reaction to pain, you kicked his forehead with your knee, shoved him to the side, knocking him over, and kicked him again, this time in the solar plexus. You stood there, stone-faced, and when Peter didn’t make a move to fight back, you turned to Eric, who nodded, and you jumped down from the mat.
You landed next to Will, Tris, and Christina, all of whom were staring at you in a mixture of horror and admiration. You blushed in embarrassment and looked at the ground, thinking to yourself, What the hell did I just do? You were so lost in thought that you didn’t realize the next two initiates were on the mat and fighting, and you only came back to yourself when Eric yyelled, “Hey! Are you deaf, initiate? I said go grab some ice for your neck, I don’t want to hear complaints about it tomorrow!”
You nodded to your friends and said “I’ll be back in a minute,” shocked at how hoarse your voice was. “Just going to… yeah,” you trailed off before walking quickly towards the infirmary.
A/N: can you tell I love writing fight scenes? also I do martial arts and have played sports my whole life, so I love when I get to use my knowledge of anatomy and physiology two write action scenes :)
Tag List: @shykoolaid
#eric coulter#eric coulter imagine#eric coulter x reader#divergent#divergent im#dauntless#erudite#divergent fanfiction#abnegation#amity#candor#tris prior#four divergent#tobias eaton#peter hayes#caleb prior#motherfxking-flannel#motherfxking flannel
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𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐜𝐬
pairings: childe, diluc, kaeya, albedo x f!reader (separate)
scenario: it’s reallyyyyy cold outside and you want your boyfriend to warm you up :) and maybe cuddle :) i mean what no its just soooo cold
genre: fluff so much fluff
wordcount: 1.6k (mostly albedo’s djkfsdjfnkd)
childe
ok so this guy
he’s from snezhnaya which is like russia
its always cold there so he’s used to the below 30 temperatures
you however
ARE NOT
like at all i mean you’re from mondstatd whens the last time it snowed here
so at first he might not notice that you are extremely cold
you two are walking around, being cute yk couple stuff
that is until you start shivering
“why are you shaking? are you scared of something???”
he’s not the brightest but we love him
“childe, im cold.” you bury your face in his chest to hide from the wind
“it’s not that cold out here, i don’t see why you’re being so dramatic.”
“it’s below 30 degrees! i’m going to get frostbite and die!”
ok so maybe you are a bit dramatic but YOU’RE FREEZING OKAY?
“hey ojou-chan, why are you so clingy all of a sudden-” you reached your hand inside his pocket to grab his hand.
holy crap your hands are cold
“hey wait don’t grab my- THAT’S MY SCARF!”
suddenly you were running away from him at top speed, his scarf in your hands
“come back here! what are you - oof-!” he had grabbed onto the edge of the scarf and pulled it back, you along with it.
you fell on top of him and you’re both wrapped in the scarf like every single christmas romance movie
“well now my hair is all full of snow.”
“you deserve it.” “HEY!”
you get up and walk off to the side, taking his scarf with you
he follows after you, and catches up quite fast considering he’s got them long legs
oh to be tall
he wraps his arms around you in a hug
“still feeling cold?”
“yES!”
so you two head for home and he promises that he’ll cuddle you all day to keep you warm
which is what you wanted in the first place ;)
diluc
diluc doesn’t get cold
not because of where he’s from or anything
but because pyro vision
~natural body heat~
and unlike childe he would actually notice you withering away in the snow
“y/n, are you alright?”
“huh? yeah yeah im fine just a bit cold”
suddenly you are being cuddled
“diluc??”
“yes?”
“you’re hugging me?”
he doesn’t usually initiate pda often so it was a surprise
“you said you were cold. i’m simply warming you up.”
you lean into his hug and notice that he’s actually really warm
like so warm you get sleepy
you’re so sleepy now that you think about it
and bonk
congrats dear reader
you have fallen asleep in diluc’s arms
he continues to talk on about venti’s drinking problem and how annoying kaeya is
he looks down and notices you sweetly dozing off in his embrace
and he’s so lucky to have you isn’t he
he smiles softly and sweeps you into his arms
carries you bridal style upstairs
he’s about to tuck you into your bed when your arms begin to tightly wrap around his shoulders
almost like you dont want to let go
“darling, it’s more comfortable in the bed,” he says quietly
“noo...” your voice is muffled by his chest and you sound tired
he chuckles lightly
“just lay down for a bit i’ll be right with you in a minute”
you’re quiet, like you’re stopping to think
“if i lay down, will you cuddle with me?”
diluc sighs
“yes i’ll cuddle with you, just please lay down? for me?”
and who are you to resist that
so you lay down and while it’s not as warm as him
its still really soft and you fall asleep in no time
he comes back to you sleeping, and not one to break his promises, he cuddles with you anyway
at least you’re warm now
kaeya
believe it or not, kaeya actually does get cold
i mean yeah he has a cryo vision, but that just means he isn’t affected by his own abilities
or at least thats my headcanon
anyways
if you’re shivering...he will not help you at first
no, first he’ll tease you about it
like imagine you guys have a mission in dragonspine
“oh y/n~ did you fall for me so hard you got frostbite?”
“you’re looking mighty chilled over there, need a hand?”
you are this close to punching his arm
however because you want him to hug you and warm you up, you are going to stay on his good side
he might prolong the teasing for a while
and after that while, he may or may not let you hug him
if he goes on for a bit too long however, he’d feel bad
you aren’t laughing at his jokes anymore because you’re so cold
you just want to stop and sleep
your steps become slower and slower
your vision is getting blurrier by the second
and after a while you just stop moving
kaeya turns to look back at you bc he notices
“y/n?”
and then in a total cliche moment you collapse out of pure exhaustion
like the gentleman he is, he catches you before you land face-first in the snow
and in his mind hes like shit i let this go on too long
so he carries you around, looking for a cave you can rest in until you’re feeling better
after maybe five minutes of searching he finds one
and he knows albedo is up here somewhere but he doesn’t want to risk you being in the snow for too long
he starts a fire and tries to lay you down near it, but you aren’t getting any warmer
so he puts you in his arms and just cuddles you
the combination of body heat + fire is slowly warming you up
and in about an hour you’re awake again
but you can’t move, because his grip on you is very tight
“kaeya? where are we?”
he slowly opens his eyes
“oh, just a random cave in dragonspine” he laughs a bit as he says it
then ofc he remembers you’ve just woken up from collapsing and is like oh right serious time ok
“are you okay?” he asks and this time he has a hint of concern in his voice
“yeah, i’m fine. i’m warm now too” you say as the fire starts to die down a bit
kaeya moves his arm in front of you to shift the firewood a bit
“i’m sorry for letting you get that cold” he murmurs
you adjust your position so you’re facing his chest
“it’s alright, at least i can finally get some cuddles this way”
you both continue to rest by the fire and decide you’ll head back to mondstatd in the morning
albedo
because albedo is rather observant of most things
he notices your state right away
he immediately stops whatever he is doing and tends to you
“you’re cold, aren’t you?” he sits you on the table and feels your forehead
“albedo, its not a fever” you laugh.
“no, if it was a fever you’d be burning up” he says matter-of-factly
he walks to the other side of the lab and grabs his coat
“here, put this on.”
you wrap the coat around yourself and start to get off the table
he rushes back and grabs your hands
they’re cold (duh)
so then he thinks what can he do to make your hands warm
usually some mittens would do the trick
but he doesnt have any except for his own
well
he’ll do what he has to
anything for you
so he slides his gloves off and offers them to you
“put these on, your hands are probably freezing”
when you hesitate (because arent his hands cold now? you dont want him to be cold) he takes the initative and takes your hands to put the gloves on
he stands back and says “there. tell me if you get colder, okay?”
and tries to hide his flustered face because
you look so cute in his gloves!!!
they’re his gloves and you’re wearing them !
he turns back to his work for a bit
after maybe half an hour he looks back
and you aren’t sitting on the table anymore??
he looks around
you aren’t anywhere??
thats not good
not good at all
he makes his way outside and doesn’t see you there either
“y/n?” he calls out into the snow
unknowingly to him, you had headed out about ten minutes after he turned around
you went to go search for some starsilver, as you heard him muttering about it under his breath
you were happily heading back to the lab, arms full of the stuff, when you heard someone shout in surprise
it sounded like albedo
something must have happened to one of his experiments
you quickly hurried towards the lab only to find
nothing?? not even the man himself
there were footsteps in the snow leading away from the room, but you couldn’t be sure if it was yours or his
you decide to wait for him to come back, and set the starsilver near his workspace
after a while, he comes back in, looking stressed and worried
“albedo?” he looks up and breathes in relief
“where were you, i came back and- mMf!” he rushes towards you and wraps you in a tight hug
“please don’t do that again” he says
“i got you some starsilver..”
he breaks the hug and looks back at his desk
“you went to get starsilver...for me?”
you bury your face in his neck
“yeah..i heard you muttering about it so i thought you needed some. it was colder out there than i thought, though”
he pats your back soothingly, rubbing his hand in circles around your shoulder
“let’s start a fire, that’ll warm us both up”
a/n: hi! wooh my first headcanon :) sorry if it was a little long, and i know some were a bit angsty and im honestly sorry about that! albedo’s got away from me sdkhjf but i hope you enjoy! and feel free to request a fic if you’d like :)
#albedo x reader#diluc x reader#kaeya x reader#childe x reader#albedo x y/n#diluc x y/n#kaeya x y/n#childe x y/n#genshin x reader#genshin headcanons#genshin imagine#genshin story#genshin stuff#genshin impact x reader#kit.writings
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The Right Place
This is the third and final part of the trilogy. I can not thank you enough for the endless support. I did not expect to even turn this into a three-parter, but you asked and you shall receive. You guys are amazing!
So Wrong It's Right
What's Wrong is Right
Warning: dark!Peter Parker x reader, dub-con, all characters are of age, pregnancy, abuse, mild non-con touching, violence
Word Count: 5.4k
Summary: You're an old troubled friend of May's. Your life consists of being a workaholic, a party animal, and bringing home the shittest of guys for a one-hit-wonder. Just when you get your life in order, you're knocked right back into your old habits. Peter has watched you suffer long enough. He can make it all better.
Taglist: @discoverwhattheworldhastooffer
Your world was in shambles and any move you made to try and fix it only seemed to make what was left crumble. You did not speak with anyone since you had found out you were pregnant, not even May. You did not know what you could even say to her or how you could explain what was going on. You knew she would find out sooner or later, but you had planned on later. You could not even stomach the thought of telling her. It would not be easy and you knew you would probably lose her friendship in the process.
You avoided Peter as much as you could. He always messaged to check up on you, but you would never reply. You were disappointed in yourself. If you had just been the biggest person and moved on, if you had not have gotten drunk, you would not be in this situation right now.
Peter never gave up on you. He had hoped you would come around. That you would understand why your life was going in the direction it was. You needed to get away from the toxicity you surrounded with, especially Chris. You were meant for bigger and better things. You were meant to be more than a housewife. You were to be a mother, a lover, a soulmate. You deserved the world and he wanted so bad to give you it plus more.
You continued to shut him out though. You did not answer his phone calls or his text messages no matter how many times he tried. He sat outside on your fire escape many nights, listening to you crying yourself to sleep. It broke his heart to see you in this situation, but he wishes you would look on the bright side of things. Maybe it was not the greatest timing to have a baby, but it didn't mean your lives were ruined. Sometimes what we want is not always what we need. Sometimes change is required for what we need in our life and you weren't necessarily open to it.
He honestly had tried to give you your space. He stuck to the rooftop above you where you could not see him when you would finally leave the house for work. You always looked so beautiful to him, even if he knew you had been crying all night. If you would just answer his messages, he would not have to go this far.
Peter watched you many mornings on your way to work. He followed your bus all the way to the place he prayed you would never go. He kneeled on top of the building, watching as you stared sadly at the front doors of the clinic. He wished you would turn around. To save him from having to web you down before you got in the building. You were picking at your sweater. No matter the number of times you found yourself standing outside the clinic, you never could bring yourself to even reach for the door.
You were at war with yourself. Peter could tell you fought against the changes, but your heart could not bring you to stop them from happening despite how unhappy you were. It always ended with a sigh and with you proceeding to walk the rest of the way to work. Peter seemed to hold his breath until you walked away.
Work was always a drag now. You had nothing to look forward to anymore but everything in the world to worry about. You stared at your phone as it lay against the computer screen. You rubbed your face tiredly.
You knew it was time to let go of your past. You sighed deeply, taking your phone in your hands and clicking on Chris's old messages. You began typing.
Are you able to come by later?
You noticed he read your message right away. You sat your phone down, still staring at the screen when he responded back.
Of course. Just tell me when, and I’ll be there.
You told him you would message him once you got home. You were sure what time you would get off when it came to your job. You wrote a company and spent the hours necessary to do what you needed to do.
By the time your workday had finally ended, you were having mixed feelings about inviting him over. Being pregnant did not help your feelings from being all over the place. Your thumbs hovered over the keypad on your screen. You were hesitant. Even if he had said he respected whatever you decided, you knew he could not entirely mean that. You quickly typed out that you were home and hit send before you could give yourself time to think almost about it. Maybe you should have thought about it a little longer.
Peter was stuck at school for one of his night classes. He dreaded his night classes now more than ever considering your condition. He had already skipping enough classes due to worrying so much about you. He could not afford to flunk out of school now after all the time and effort he had dedicated already. As much as he wanted to keep an eye on you, he tried to give you room to breathe, to think, and process.
You pushed his bags in the living room by the door, straightening your sweater to keep it off of your stomach. You were not big to others, but to you, you worried if people can tell. You did not want to chance it and certainly not with Chris. You wanted this to go as smoothly as possible.
Your heart almost leaped from your chest at the knock on your door. You slid the chain from the lock and pulled the door open to see his face light up as soon as he saw you.
"Hey there, beautiful."
"Hi." You leaned against the door slightly as you moved out of the way for him to enter.
"I'm so glad you're giving this a second-" He stepped into the apartment, noticing bags of his belongings to the side of him and he grew quiet. "You're not giving me a second chance." He pointed out and you frowned slightly, still standing by the door.
"I think it is what's best for the both of us." Your voice was quiet and calm, but in your mind, it was the hardest thing possible for you to say.
"Is it?" His voice seemed bitter and you looked down at your feet, nodding slowly. Even without looking at him, you could still feel his eyes on you. He turned to face you fully and you hesitated to make eye contact with him.
"It is. I still want the best for you."
"Do you not believe I can change? I don't understand. What can I do to change your mind?" He pressed.
"Please don't think I haven't given this a lot of thought. It consumes my mind to no end. I just need to focus on myself right now."
"Imagine that." It was silent in the room and you glanced at him, only to find him shaking his head with a snicker. "It's not what's best for the both of us. Not for me. This is what's best for you. Can't imagine how I even thought you could be anything but selfish."
"Chris, I just want to keep this civil."
"Good for you." He pulls the door from your grasp and slamming it shut, startling you. "That's all you've ever been, hm? You're gonna have to lose that mindset if you plan on marrying me."
"I don't-"
"You will." He corrected, moving so close you could feel his breath across your face. "I put too much time into this for you to walk away from me."
You swallowed hard. The man who stared back at you was far from familiar. You tried to step around him but he only pushed you back into your place between him and the wall.
"Goddamn it, just get your stuff and go!" You raised your voice and he slapped his hand hard across your cheek. It was strong enough to make you see stars in your eyes. You yelped at the impact and held your cheek as it stung in pain.
"You watch your fucking tone." He stared down at you. He had never hit you before in the years you had been together. He never raised a hand to you, but then again, he never raised one for you either.
You could not imagine how much worse this would get. You left sick to your stomach when he grabbed your chin, tilting your head upright to look at him, stroking his fingers across your stinging cheek as his eyes flickered over your face in thought.
"Truth to be told, I think it's you who needs to change. I put up with so much from you. You had me in the beginning. Thought I was getting this wild, sex-crazed wife, oh, the fun we use to have. The drunken nights." He stiffed a laugh as he let his free hand grab the end of your sweater. "You really had me fooled, didn't you sweetheart?"
You were scared to move. Scared that one wrong move and he would hit you again, maybe worse. You closed your eyes, hoping Peter would answer your prayers. You regretted how much you ever took advantage of his kindness. How long you acted like you never noticed. You had always noticed. You felt his hand push underneath your shirt, and his gaze grazed over your stomach.
You noticed the way his hand froze against the small curve of your rounded stomach and he instantly lifted your shirt to see the problem. Your vision was blurred from your tears as he stared at your stomach with wide eyes. You could tell he was getting pissed.
"Really looks like you've been focusing on yourself." He lets your sweater fall back down over your stomach. His grip was still firm on your jaw, giving you no choice but to look at him. "You have some nerve to leave me. I could bet money it's Parker's. It is, isn't it?"
You could not bring yourself to admit it, but you did not have to.
He shoved your face from his hand, causing you to hit your head hard against the wall as he let you go. "You fucking make me sick."
You tried to keep your sobs quiet, listening to his footsteps moving away from you, listening to him jerking his bags up. "Better it's his problem and not mine." He muttered before slamming the door shut behind him.
You pulled your knees to your chest as you sat up against the wall with a sob. You didn't realize how much you needed Peter until now. You were sure he would have been successful if Peter had not have stopped. You hugged your knees as you tried to catch your breath in an attempt to calm yourself down.
After a moment, you took a deep breath as you pushed yourself to your feet. You let out a whimper quiet, feeling mild cramps in your lower stomach. You frowned as you turned the lock to the door, pressing your forehead against it as you held your stomach from the pain. It only seemed to worsen the longer you stood there. You weren't sure what was going on, but you had a feeling whatever it was, it was not good. You stood like that hoping the cramps would ease, but they never did.
It was close to the end of class when Peter's phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out of his phone slightly to see who it was. He glanced up at the professor who had still proceeded with his lecture and Peter lowered his head to answer. He knew something had to be wrong if you were calling him after all this time of avoiding him.
"Y/n? Is everything okay?"
"I think something is wrong." You whimpered quietly and he raises an eyebrow slightly.
"What do you mean "wrong"? Is the baby okay?" He looked up at the teacher who was making eye contact with him now as he talked.
"I don't know." You answered honestly.
That was all it took to get Peter moving. He grabbed his books off of his desk and tossed them in his bag while he scrambled from the classroom.
"It hurts." You rubbed your lower stomach like you always did when you had cramps before. Cramps were normal, but with being pregnant, you could never be too sure what they really meant.
"I know, love. I'm so sorry. Hang tight. I'm on my way." He reassured you as he sprinted out of the building.
---
You lay back on the hospital bed, sighing as Peter ran his hand over your bump in gentle circles. For once, you let him. Your cramps had surprisingly lessened since Peter had shown up, but he did not want to take any chances. It was better to be safe than sorry. He was so worried about you and the baby.
Nurses had been in and out of the room, doing blood work, swabbing, anything necessary to get to the bottom of this. Peter was quiet as he sat on the side of the hospital bed, focused on the massage he was giving your stomach. This was the first time he had touched you since the night you found out you were pregnant.
You could not help back to smile slightly to yourself as his long gentle fingers worked over your skin. He must have sensed your stare because it was not long before his eyes glancing up to meet your stare.
He raised an eyebrow curiously. "Is this okay? I'm not making it worse, am I?"
You shook your head. "It's fine. I'm just watching."
He smiled at you while he continued his massage to your tummy. His eyes looked toward the door when a nurse came in, rolling some equipment over to the bedside.
"Miss. Y/l/n, your lab work should not be much longer. If you do not mind, I would like to do an ultrasound to check on the baby. Is that okay with you?"
You nodded and Peter took his hands back to let her work. She rolled over a chair, taking some gel and squirting some across your lower stomach. The nurse rolled the transducer over the gel and smearing it in as she applied some pleasure in search of a heartbeat. You watched her roam your stomach, biting your bottom lip. Your eyes widened slightly when the sound of the baby's beating heart filled the room. Once the nurse got a clear view, she turned the screen to show you and Peter what she was seeing.
You looked over at the monitor, your heart fluttered slightly at the first sight of your baby. That was your baby, even if it was only a little bean now. You could not stop the smile from forming on your lips. This little bean was life was growing inside of you. This brought a whole new light to your pregnancy. It was like a light had switched on. You did not know how to explain the overwhelming feeling. It felt more real after seeing him or her.
Peter was just as taken back as you. His grin never faded at the sight of your baby. It only made him 10x more eager to be a dad.
"Look at that. Already looks like me." Peter teased and you giggled, considering he or she was not much more than a heartbeat at the moment.
"I can definitely see it." You grinned as Peter rest his hand over yours, sliding his fingers between yours. He brought your hand to his lips before pressing a kiss to the back of it. You watched him kiss your hand and shivered slightly. You did not know what to think of everything at this point.
The nurse checked the baby's heartbeat before turning to the computer behind her and check your lab results with a quiet hum as she scrolled through your charts.
"Well, it seems like everything is just fine. Your baby is certainly healthy and has one of the strongest heartbeats I have ever heard." You looked over at Peter and he only grinned. You could thank Peter for that and all of his spidey senses.
"Your blood pressure was pretty high though and considering your history, your blood pressure has always been perfect. Have you been stressed out lately?" She looked back at you and you nodded slightly.
You were ashamed at how stressed you had let yourself get. "Well, I won't ask for details but if it is anything I can help you with, I would be happy to help. If not, I would stay to keep the stress to a minimum. Your baby does feel anything you feel, so some things can be too much and really take a toll on them." She explained. "Think of this as your baby reminding you to breathe."
You smiled, feeling Peter giving your hand a warm squeeze.
"If your blood pressure does continue to be high, we will see if we can do something to help." You nodded again as she made out some prints of your ultrasound and handing them to you. "If you don't have any questions, I'll let one of the other nurses know and they can keep your paperwork ready for you to go home." She took a paper towel and wiped your stomach clean before tossing it.
With that, she gathered up her equipment before rolling it out of the room with her. You pulled your sweater back down over your stomach.
"Hear that. Now do me a favor and leave all of the worrying up to me." He looked up at you as your eyes stayed glued to your ultrasound prints. His eyes flickered over your face, landing on the bruising mark on your cheek. He reached up, moving a piece of hair back of your face to get a better look. You flinched at the contact. Peter seemed taken back by your flinch.
"What happened? How'd you get that?" You kept your head down with a small frown.
"I invited Chris over to get his stuff. He thought I was taking him back. He didn't take it well." You explained and his eyes widened.
"He hit you?!" You reached Peter's hand as he started to jump up from the bed. "I'll kill him. I swear to you-"
"Peter, please. It's over with now." You assured him, tugging his hand to pull him back to the bed to sit down again. "He's not worth it."
Peter frowned, letting out a deep sigh before leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek. He did not want to stress you any more than you had already been. "I'm sorry he did that to you. I wish I could have been there."
"Honestly, I needed this. It made letting go of him a lot easier."
"Was that all he did?"
You grew quiet.
"Did he..."
"No, he didn't." You shook your head after he could finish his sentence. "He saw that I was pregnant and left."
Peter tried to keep his composure as his fist clenches out of your sight. He could not imagine how someone could lay a single finger on you with intentions to hurt you. He was quiet. He was trying to hold it together for your sake.
"He didn't say anything?"
You stayed quiet for a moment, rubbing your thumb across the print. "Just that he was glad it was your problem and not his." You shrugged your shoulders slightly. "Even though it's not a problem, I am glad it's you and not him. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a baby with someone that selfish."
His clenched fist loosened at your words and his eyes softened. He could not believe his ears. Were you really saying this?
His cheeks blushed a deep shade of red. "You mean that?"
You smiled at him with a nod. "I do. You're so selfless and care so much about what you can do for others. Even though I've been selfish, you still stuck by my side. I honestly couldn't ask for a better father for my baby."
His smile widened as he looked at you, resting his hand on your small bump. "Our baby."
You rested your hand on top of his with a smile, nodding your head. "Our baby." You agreed.
---
It was not long after that the nurse gave you the okay to leave. Peter had stopped to get you something to eat before he took you home. He wanted to make sure you had been fed. All of the little things like this had slowly pulled you closer Peter. You were not used to how observant and patient he was. As much as you knew how wrong your whole situation was, you could not help but to give in to it. Despite your age, Peter had treated you better than any other guy you had been with. Even better than the one you had been with for years. Peter was the blessing you never knew you needed. He was the blessing in disguise.
He held onto your hand, walking up the steps to your apartment and using the keys to unlock the door for you. He didn't expect you to let him stay. All he wanted was to make sure you were okay before he left you alone.
"Thank you for everything." You looked up at him as you both stood in front of your door.
He smiled down at you. "You don't have to thank me."
"You know I owe you."
He rolled his eyes playfully. "You don't owe me anything. You're having our baby. I consider that payment enough." He teases, his hands resting on your waist. He could not help but touch you. In every possible, he would if he could. Your cheeks blushed at his response, looking down but Peter let his finger hook underneath your chin to tilt your head back up. Your lips were barely an inch apart when the moment was quickly ruined.
"What the fuck is going on here?!" A familiar voice pulled you from your moment, making your heart sink to the pit of your stomach when the realization hit. You did not even have to look over to know it was May. Her face was red in anger when your eyes met hers. "You ignore me for weeks and when I come to check on you, you're smacking lips with my nephew?! What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Your lips parted to say something, but no words came out. You did not where to begin with explaining yourself to her. You knew this was all wrong, but it was all too late.
"I thought you were hurt, but obviously, you're perfectly fine." She was fuming.
You never wanted her to find out this way. You wished you had more time to think about it and figure out a better way, but this was it. This was the moment of truth and you were terrified to lose your best friend. You felt tears forming in your eyes and Peter frowned.
"Aunt May, stop."
"Stop?! I'm not going to stop! You're not going to use my nephew so you can get over your worthless ex-boyfriend."
"Aunt May!"
You fought to hold back your tears until you could not anymore. You felt the tears running down your face. As much of a low blow that was, you felt you deserved to hear it. "Peter, i-it's okay." You struggled to form your words. You were hurt, embarrassed, ashamed.
"No, it's not." He shook his head, pointing a finger at May as she stood only a few feet distance from the two of you by her car. "You've gone too far."
"I don't understand how you think this is okay, Y/n." She shook her head, ashamed at you.
"I didn't expect for it to be like this. I didn't mean for any of this to happen." You confessed.
"Just like you never meant for all those one-night stands to happen huh? I trusted you!" She yelled, making you flinch. You hung your head in defeat, glancing at Peter with sad eyes before going inside. You could not stomach the rest of the conversation without sobbing. You tried to calm yourself once you were inside.
"That's enough!" Peter yelled suddenly. "I am capable of making my own decisions. I don't need you to decide what is best for me, Aunt May. I'm not here against my will and neither is she."
"She's supposed to be my friend." She didn't know what to make of this.
"You're supposed to be my Aunt! You knew how hard I crushed over her. For years you knew."
"I thought it was just a crush."
He moved closer to her in the parking lot. It was never just a crush. He was head over heels for you. "I love her. I've always loved her. You're can either respect it or accept it, because it's either way, she's pregnant and nothing is going to change that." He stood by her car.
Her mouth fell open in shock. She did not know what to think. Never in a million years would have thought this would happen, but then again never would have you.
"Pregnant?" Her voice was quiet.
He nodded. "I'm gonna be a dad, Aunt May." He pulled his copy of the prints out of his wallet and showing them to her.
She was at a loss for words. He was right. There was nothing she could do about that. May stared at the prints for a moment, trying to process everything in the short time it had all happened.
"Peter... I don't understand..."
"She almost had a miscarriage today because she's been stressing herself out over Chris. You're not going to take this away from me." He looks down at her, taking the prints back from her." He looked down at her as she stared back with a small frown. "Go home, Aunt May before we both do something we'll regret. You can come back when you're ready to apologize for this." He held the car door open for her and she hesitated before slowly getting in the car.
She knew she was in the wrong for how she had handled things, but Peter did not give her the chance to even risk making things worse. Peter felt deep in his heart despite everything she would come around. She would realize how happy you made him and she would accept it, but for now, she needed to leave.
Peter walked back to your front door, knocking on the door with a sigh. After a few moments, you moved from your spot on the couch to answer the door. You opened it slightly to see Peter and you glanced behind him at May's car pulling out of the parking lot.
"How are you?" He frowned when he saw your red watery eyes.
"I feel awful."
He sighed when you finally let go of the door and he stepped inside of the apartment. He let the door close behind him. His arms wrapped around your body instantly, pulling you against mine as he hugged you, resting his head against yours and kissing the top of it. "I'm so sorry. I know it's hard to believe now, but she'll come around. Just give her some time."
"She was going to find out sooner or later. I expected that reaction. I just wasn't prepared for it right now." You pointed out as your head rested against his chest, letting him hold onto you.
You closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat. You relaxed in his arms. Your eyes were burning from all the tears shed. Peter scooped your body up in his arms bridal style, carrying you down the hall to the bedroom. He laid you down on the bed, sliding into the bed with you as his arms naturally found their way around your waist. Your head fell to his chest as you got lost in your thoughts for a moment.
"I'm starting to think I can never make the right choices." You admitted, laughing slightly to yourself and Peter tilted your head up to look at him.
His lips pressed a kiss to your nose. "Sometimes, the wrong choices bring us to the right places." He assured you before leaning in to close the space between your lips and kissing your lips.
He was true to word. No matter how much you held yourself back, every wrong choice you had ever made in your life brought you to this moment with Peter. This opportunity with Peter to finally get your life right. It was your chance to allow yourself the happiness you knew you both deserved.
End Credits Scene
He was not sure how long he had been sitting with his wrists and ankles restrained to a chair in the middle of a dark room. Maybe hours. It even could have been days. He was not sure. His eyes blinked rapidly to adjust to the light that poured into the room when he finally heard a heavy door open.
"Oh good, you're awake." He was covered in sweat from fear and the heat of the closed-off room. He could make out bits of a red and blue suit. His eyes must have been playing tricks on him. When his eyes finally adjusted to the light, his eyes widened at the sight of Spiderman in front of him. He did not understand what was going on. Spiderman is supposed to save people.
His mouth was covered with solid webbing so he could not speak.
"I'm sure you're wondering why you're here." Peter moved closer to him as he spoke. He leaned down, ripping the webbing from Chris' mouth and making him cry out in pain from the grip it had on his skin. "You see Chris if there's one thing I hate, it's people who hurt the people I care about."
"W-What are you talking about? I haven't done anything."
"Don't play dumb." Peter gritted his teeth underneath his mask, backhanding Chris across the face before gripping his jaw. "You know exactly what you did, but that's okay because it won't happen again. You'll never touch Y/n again. I'll make sure of that."
Blood dripped from Chris's mouth from how hard Peter hit him. "I should fucking kill you for putting your hands on her." He smirked to himself when Chris starts squirming under his grip. "But I won't."
"I won't. I won't touch her again. I swear-"
"Oh, I know you won't." Peter let go of his jaw before backing up towards the door again.
"W-Where are you going? Aren't you going to let me go?" Chris started to panic as Peter pulled his mask off for Chris to see his face. He wanted this to be the last thing he saw if he died and the thing he would definitely remember if he lived.
"I didn't say I was going to let you go. I said I wasn't going to kill you." He smiled and Chris's mouth fell open slightly at the sight of Peter Parker standing before him. "I was thinking we could make a game out of this. I hear you like games. Let's see just how important you really are. I'm gonna leave you here and we're gonna see if your friends succeed with their search party if they even send one out. I can't imagine what they would care about scum like you for, but I guess we'll see. I give you about 48 hours before your body finishes you off itself. That should give you more than enough time to think about what I've said. That's if you do make it and I don't really have faith that's gonna happen, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I expect you to get the hell out of New York. I promise to you if ever see you again, I'll kill you."
Chris swallowed hard as Peter stood in the doorway once more, the sun outlining his figure at the door. He was scared of the possibility of not being found. He was furious that a guy like Peter was capable of putting him in a situation like this.
"They'll find me and when they do, you're a dead man, Peter Parker." He pulled at the restraints on his arms with all of his might but he did not stand a chance against the webbing. Peter made it look so easy.
Peter grinned at Chris's promise. He loved the challenge. The possibility that even if someone did find him, he would have the pleasure of killing him himself. It amused Peter that Chris could even have the nerve to threaten him in the position he was in.
"Well, let the game begin." He gave a wave as he started to pull the door closed. Chris yelled to the top of his lungs until the heavy metal door ceased his screams.
#dark peter x reader#dark peter parker#peter parker#dub con#dark!peter parker#dark!peter x reader#peter parker x reader#spiderman x reader#dark!spiderman x reader#dark!spiderman#dark!tom holland#tom holland x reader#peter parker one shot
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ayo feel like doing a gorou confession fic for me? pretty please with sprinkles on top (you know that fucking tiktok)
Ofc Pizzato anything for u my dear 🥰
Pairing: Gorou x gn!reader
Warnings: slight angst
Word count: 1,969
You heard a couple friendly knocks on your office door, eyes glancing to the clock to see it was a little past noon and you knew exactly who it was. “Come in,” you chime, putting down your pen and stretching upwards with a smile.
“Helloooooo!” You hear as the door swung open, Kazuha flaunting an envelope between his fingers. “Letter time!”
You sweep to your feet and give him grabby hands. “Give it to me!” He chuckles and places the thin paper into your hands. “Tell me who it is already,” you giggle as you rip it open and slide the letter out.
“No,” he sighs, rolling his eyes. “I keep my promises.”
You quirk and eyebrow before you fold open the letter. “Even if I bribe you with dango?”
Kazuha smiles. “Even if you bribe me with dango.”
You grunt and groan but it quickly stops when you unfold the letter, reading the contents.
Good afternoon, cupcake, it starts. You blush at the pet name. I hope your day is going as well as mine. I’ve just won the office lottery! I’m going to ask for more snacks in the break room. That way, everyone benefits too! Specifically though, I want more sakura mochi! The ones you made for us were delicious. Share your recipe? :3
I adore you, your secret admirer.
You squeeze the letter to your chest and squeal, your face warm from blushing and your heart pounding against your chest. “Oh, Kazuha, whoever this person is, I really wish they’d come up and confess!”
Kazuha tuts and wiggles his finger. “But then the mystery wouldn’t be there anymore.”
“Screw mystery!” You squealed, gazing down at the illegible and scratchy handwriting, the mysterious stains and fur all over the page. “I’m ready to hear these words in person.”
Just then there was a knock on your door and a quick turn of the knob, one of the top brass leaning against your door frame. “Good morning, Chatty Cathy’s,” sang a familiar voice and ear twitches.
You wave while Kazuha bows, hiding the letter behind your back. “Good morning, General Gorou.”
The tail behind his back wagged discreetly as the two men share a knowing glance. “Kazuha,” the general clears his throat. “May I speak with you?”
The samurai nods his head and gives you a little wave as he walks out the door. “Bye boys!” You sing, tucking the letter back into the envelope and putting it away.
The next day, as routine, a little past noon you heard three friendly knocks on your door. You excitedly put your pen down, closing your ledger and standing out of your chair and onto your feet. “Kazuha,” you grinned. “Come in!”
He pushed the door open with his back, lugging a big box with some plastic sticking out from the top. “I’m just a mule to you guys aren’t I?” He groaned, lifting the box up and onto your desk. “This is ridiculous.”
You stood on your tippy toes to try and peek inside the box without being obnoxious. “What is it?” You hum, getting more and more restless.
“Your letter, what else?” He kind of snapped, letting out a deep sigh and rolling his eyes. “I wish he’d confess too. That way I don’t have to carry these things.”
You pulled back the top of the box that was just out of your reach. “Here,” pushing your hands away, Kazuha tore the box apart to expose a giant basket full of goodies and flowers. “The letter.”
Kazuha snapped the taped-on letter from the plastic and handed it to you. Wasting no time at all, you rip the envelope open and unfold the letter.
Dearest [Y/N], you’ve pierced my heart like an arrow through a target and I simply cannot get you off my mind. I heard from the grapevine that you wish for my confession. …Maybe I shall do so in the near future? It’s not that I do not want to be yours, but rather that you make me quite nervous. Still, we see each other for terribly brief moments but these moments are the most precious to me. Hopefully I can muster up the courage to finally tell you how I feel. In the meantime, please accept these treats and toys imported from across the globe. My favorite are the dog-shaped biscuits.
Your shy admirer.
Looking up from the letter you find Kazuha stuffing his face with some chocolatey cookies from within a tin box labeled ‘Fontaine.’ “Are those good?” You ask, reaching in and stealing one.
“Mhm,” Kazuha hums, taking a bite out of the one in his hand. “I’ve never had Fontaine chocolate. I guess the rumors about being the best were true.”
You melt under the sweet taste and crunchy texture, thinking that if your crush’s letters had a taste, it would be like this. “This is so nice,” you sigh, eyes sparkling as they gaze upon the basket. “Do you think he’s going to confess to me?”
Kazuha stares out the windows of your office that peer into the rest of the building, watching a certain general spill water on himself and the resistance leader. He takes another bite of a cookie. “Maybe.”
You squeal in delight and spin around in joy. “My heart’s beating so fast! I hope he does it soon or I’ll explode!”
Kazuha chuckles and playfully shoves you aside. “If you explode, I’m eating all of your snacks.”
“No! They’re mine!”
Weeks— almost a month— go by with no further letters. Kazuha stopped coming by, whether at noon or otherwise. The only knocks you got were visits from Kokomi about the budget or from other soldiers carrying reports and receipts from spending. Your heart ached at the sudden lack of contact, wondering if you had done or said something wrong.
Maybe your eagerness was intimidating and this mystery man just wanted someone to flirt with without commitment. Maybe he got bored of you. Maybe he didn’t want to talk to you anymore.
Regardless, you wanted to try and spark it back up in case you’ve stepped on some toes without realizing. That night when you got home, you tossed the ingredients for sakura mochi into a bowl and got to mixing.
The office ate everything you brought before lunchtime rolled around. With such great success, you had confidence that he’d reach out to you tomorrow, if not today.
But alas you were left in silence once more, leaving your heart to crumble and ache. You were quick to recover, considering you never met the guy— let alone knew his name. But you had no time to be worrying anyway, because in a couple of days one of the squads were returning from the front lines and you needed to factor in medical costs. Apparently they took a hard hit when Sara Kujou showed up with her samurai. Kokomi was depending on you, and you didn’t want to let her down.
You spend these few days really crunching the numbers, making sure that every wounded soldier would get the basic medical necessities with some left over for any miscalculations. With every i dotted and every t crossed, you stuffed your report into a fancy envelope and handed it to Kokomi. “Thank you [Y/N] for your hard work under such a sudden timetable.” She thanked, tucking the envelope under her arm. “The team should be arriving tomorrow, so I will be submitting this for review immediately.”
You bow respectfully and offer your thanks for praise. “It’s no problem at all, Her Excellency. I was given ample time to prepare the balance sheet.” You begin to turn when you’re stopped once again by her.
“Before you go,” she smiles softly. “Would you mind helping out at the infirmary? We’re short handed right now with the sudden intake of Delusions.”
“Of course, Her Excellency. I will be there whenever you need me.”
You weren’t specialized in medics but you had helped around often enough to know the basics. And anyone could become a master at immediate medical attention after doing it so many times.
The flood of gurneys was a little disheartening to see, but you were still thankful for all that they do for the greater of the country. It must be scary being at the front lines, but everyone knew what they were signing up for.
You catch sight of Genera Gorou and Lord Kazuha chatting with Lady Kokomi before you were assigned to a batch of wounded soldiers, feeling a little bad for harboring ill feelings toward the young lord for disappearing. ‘You could’ve at least told me that you were leaving,’ you thought as you rinsed the injured area.
“I can take over from here,” the head medic stepped in, slipping on a new pair of gloves before getting a closer look at the soldier before you. With most of everyone patched up and recovering, the medic team was able to take control of the infirmary once again.
You wash your hands and check the clock. A little past noon. It’s funny how at this time you would’ve waited with bated breath for a couple of knocks. But not anymore.
You step out of the infirmary and find Kazuha and General Gorou sitting outside on the benches there. “Oh, hi boys,” you say surprised.
Kazuha grabs and shakes your hand. “Thank you for helping out our soldiers,” he says seriously.
“Oh, it’s not that big of a deal,” you mutter. “I do this all the time.”
A calloused hand pushes Kazuha’s away and shakes your hand firmer, harder. “No, [Y/N],” Gorou says with a sort of oomph behind his words. “These are my men…my family. They would be suffering if not for your help.”
You look to the side uncomfortably, a little put-off by the tension in the air. “And that’s why—!” Gorou continues, suddenly eight decibels louder. You hold eye contact with the general, his face darkening into a deep red flush, his eyes glassy and ears twitching. He squeezed your hand harder and shut his eyes. “M-My C-C-Cupcake!!! P-Please let m-me take you on a date!!!!”
Kazuha winced at the loudness of his friend, covering one of his ears but still smiling nonetheless. The people walking by stared and mumbled, but it didn’t matter as you felt your heart pound against your chest. You felt your eyes well with tears as now your face flushed red, the general cautiously opening his eyes to see your trembling lips and pathetic pout. “A-Ah! [Y/N], don’t cry!!”
You tug on his hand hard, pulling the man into your arms and squeezing him tight. You sobbed into his chest, hearing and feeling how frantic his heart was beating as well. “You idiot!” You shout into his battle-worn chest. “Don’t disappear without telling me…”
Gorou caressed the back of your head and chewed on his lip, his tail drooping with guilt but twitching with excitement for being in your arms. “Did I…scare you?” He whispered tentatively, choosing his words carefully.
You pull away and wipe your eyes, Gorou watching you closely and holding tightly onto your waist. “I thought you got tired of me…because I stopped hearing from you.” Gorou frowned and cupped your face, thumbing your cheeks gently. “I even made sakura mochi and I didn’t—”
“You made sakura mochi??!??!!! Is there any left?!?” Gorou’s jaw dropped. He let you go to turn and run to the break room, halting before running back to embrace you once more. “Heh, uh…” he chuckled nervously. “I’d actually…rather hold you like this…”
You couldn’t fight the smile that spread across your cheeks, flushing your body against his chest. “That’s okay,” you giggle. “There aren’t any left.”
You had no idea that his ears could flatten sadly like that.
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